The Game, Chapter 7
Oct. 26th, 2010 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
radhajTitle: The Game
Pairings: Tetsu x Hyde x Tetsu
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not claim to have any j-rockers in my possession
Warnings: Male x Male stuff. Slight OOC and AU, because this is just not how it really was. But hey, that's why this is fan fiction, right?
Summary: When Tetsu approaches Hyde to join his band, the vocalist turns out to be everything he's been made out to be and more. But is that more than the new band leader can handle?
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Tetsu collapsed on the couch of his living room in a manner of a person who has decided not to get up ever again. Or at least, not to get up for as long as their crazy situation and schedule allowed them to. The same situation that had him up and running with almost no sleep for three whole days now, struggling to keep his dreams alive, his precious people as unaffected as possible and the load that appeared after the recent events as much on his shoulders as he could.
He could deal with this, He knew that. Even with things slipping out of his control, he had the ability to keep his band alive, against all the odds. And that's all that mattered in his mind. Almost all.
The only thing preceding this, was the one thing that made him stand up far before his organism was ready to move again after all. A doorbell. He instinctively knew who was on the other side of the door, who was the only one desperate enough to bother him at this time and who he hadn't seen for almost as long as those same three days he almost hadn't slept. He did not even groan as he got up, grabbing hold of the last surge of adrenaline he still had in his system and dragged himself to the door, opening it and barely blinking at the sight that met him.
It was obviously a face of a man who was in the middle of a change, Tetsu was glad to note. The indecision, confusion, even the hurt was a good sign to a certain extent in this situation. And more than anything else, there was a plea for help. For advice. For salvation.
For answers.
Hyde was a truly pitiful sight to behold.
"Hyde-san," he greeted with an indifferent nod, far more aware of the roles they have played up to this point than he probably should have been now, considering the circumstances.
"Tetchan," the answer was barely hearable, buried under a mountain of guilt and loss of what to do. The eyes of the man in front of the bassist filled with tears for the first time he'd known him and his voice was choked by repentance. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Tetchan, if I'd known, I would have... I don't know, but I would have done something..."
It was the first opportunity to talk they had since the news reached them, as one of Tetsu's main goals the last three days was to keep Hyde out of the media's view while he patched the biggest problems up as good as he could alone or with the occasional help of Ken - someone who kept his cool far better than the uncharacteristically emotional vocalist did. As far as he knew (and he, by all means, should know right), the singer had been cooped up in his apartment, with a label-hired bodyguard near him at all times. It was a mystery how the small man even got out to visit him without a deceivingly good-meaning entourage tagging along.
"Believe me, Hyde, you've already done enough," was the response that flew from Tetsu's mouth before he even considered it, and he decided that the exhaustion was effecting him more than he thought. The singer had no means of knowing the bassist didn't mean that, however. He withdrew to himself even more.
"I'm so sorry. You were right and it's all my fault. Because of me Sakura, and Laruku, and you guys..." Hyde was blabbering now, his words mixing together into an incomprehensible mess. Tetsu could just imagine how the singer spent the last three days thinking over what has happened and maybe even planning out this very apology that was fated to failure as soon as he laid eyes on the bassist and the reality of the situation hit him full-force again.
For a full second, Tetsu considered just continuing to stare coolly down at the man that was obviously having a breakdown in front of him. But when that second passed, he silently gathered the practically sobbing man into his embrace, shushing him gently and waiting patiently for Hyde to calm down. When the distressed shaking finally subsided, the bassist finally became aware of the fact that he'd been hugging his singer at the door of his apartment for who knows how long. Without breaking the silence, he led the older man inside, closing the door behind them and sitting Hyde on the couch.
"I'll put you up for the night," the leader muttered, stepping away to peek into the guest bedroom to make sure everything was in order there before returning to the almost frozen man's side. "The state you're in, you probably won't make it home safely now."
Hyde looked up at him then, questions in his eyes as loud and clear as they'd be had he stated them. Tetsu sighed and sat down in front of the other.
"For now, don't worry about this. There is nothing you can do and I'll take care of everything."
"Alone?" the singer mouthed, the sound catching in his throat in his distress, startling him. But Tetsu paid it no mind.
"Ken will help me if I need anything," the cold rejection obviously hit Hyde full-force, but Tetsu was not going to gloss things over for him, not if Hyde was finally starting to take responsibility for his actions. As it was, the singer was barely stable right now, and would only hurt their case if he remained in the middle of the situation. Tetsu did not need that.
"Tomorrow, I'll make sure you get some time off. Hawaii, Bahamas, take your pick. It would be best if you left the country for a while, both for you and for the band," the leader continued and Hyde nodded in acceptance, not daring to disagree with anything after putting them into the situation in the first place.
"Can I go visit Sakura before I leave?" he asked, nonetheless and Tetsu shook his head.
"I don't think that is a good idea," he said without elaborating, but Hyde just nodded again, understandingly. The drummer probably wouldn't want to see him, in any case.
"Come on, now, go to sleep," Tetsu said after a moment of silence and urged the singer into the guestroom, waiting uncomfortably in the room for Hyde to unclothe and slip under the cover's just to make sure the small man did as told. As soon as the singer settled in the bed, however, he turned and was about to switch off the light when a voice stopped him.
"Tetchan?" the familiar address rolled off the vocalist's tongue with a curiously hesitant intonation, "Why do you keep doing this?"
Tetsu turned back to face Hyde, his brows furrowing in confusion.
"What do you mean?" he asked, honestly at a loss of what Hyde was referring to.
"All these years, I've been nothing but trouble for you, and I made it my life's goal to cause you as much discomfort as I could," the singer spoke, his voice regaining some of its strength in his desperation to understand, "I never even made it a secret. And yet you kept me in the band despite it, cleaned up after me, pulled me along, took care of me. Why? However beautiful you might think my voice is, it can't be worth it to put up with all I've put you through."
The bassist shrugged.
"Maybe not to you," he brushed it off, unfortunately without success.
"Tetchan," the vocalist said, obviously not buying it. If he were less tired, Tetsu might have taken offense at the almost patronizing tone, "Why did you let me stay all this time?"
Pushing on the switch that his hand had already been resting on Tetsu suddenly turned off the light and turned to leave again, mostly to hide the expression on his face - he had no idea what it was and didn't want Hyde seeing him losing control of his own features. He still did not know if it was a good idea to give Hyde any ammunition, as changed as the man seemed right now.
"I'm sure you'll realize the answer to that if you think a bit without much trouble," he answered cryptically and bid goodnight before the singer could try to respond.
He should call Hyde's apartment and calm the probably frantic by now bodyguard. He'll make sure the incompetent man is fired tomorrow.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the situation were not so grave or at least had less impact on his own future, Tetsu might have actually enjoyed dealing with its blowout. These might be the music industry's own brand of politics, but it was something he highly exceeded in. Take that, high-school teachers that called him a good-for-nothing.
In retrospect, he thought, maybe it was better that this happened when L'Arc~en~Ciel's popularity had been on such a steep rise, even if it did mean the media's attention fell down on them with an almost terrifying intensity. But at least now there was not one person (who had an actual say in this) that was really against the band's continued activity as soon as the scandal died down. There were reprimands of course, uncountable even. There was blame thrown around, Japan's peculiar ways of viewing drugs confronted and even threats of the band being buried so far down, none of its members would even dream of standing on stage again.
Empty threats. Ones that made a very satisfying crunching sound once Tetsu could be bothered enough to step on them.
Interestingly enough, one of the more difficult tasks for Tetsu was getting a chance to visit Sakura again. There were suspicions (quite reasonable, Tetsu had to admit) that the leader would be incredibly angry at the drummer for ruining his band and that letting them both into the same room was a tragedy waiting to happen.
But Tetsu barely blamed Sakura at all. He blamed himself the most, actually.
Obviously, the two of them would not come out of this as close friends, but then, they never actually were. So the visit, once Tetsu made it happen, consisted of worried inquiries about health, polite exchanges of apologies and, once the subject was broached, there was also a mention of a name. Satisfied, Tetsu left after getting what he came for and readied himself for a long search.
He knew quite well that Yukihiro would not be easy to find.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tetsu shook off a strong feeling of deja vu when he opened the door to his apartment after the doorbell rang. The vocalist was not supposed to be back for another week at the least, and yet here he was, complete with a Hawaiian Flower Lei and an Aloha shirt. Admittedly, the perfect smile was missing, but Hyde never had straight teeth so that couldn't be helped.
"Tetchan!" Hyde almost shouted as he grinned up at him and walked past into the apartment without even asking for permission.
Well, at least the mood had improved drastically, the bassist mused to himself. The holiday worked as he had intended it to then, if a little faster than he thought it would.
"What are doing here?" he asked tiredly, following the almost annoyingly cheerful vocalist into his own home. "You're back early."
"I know," Hyde answered, sobering up a little as he brought out some items Tetsu concluded were souvenirs for him (was that a hula girl statuette?) onto the living room table.
"Why?" Tetsu asked, though he probably knew half of the answer already, judging by the singer's mood. Hyde put the last object on the table and turned back to look at him, his smile a bit strained now, but still present.
"I just had enough time already to realize that my moping and blaming myself was not helping anyone," he said slowly, "I don't know if I can do anything to actually help, but I'm willing to try."
Tetsu could not disprove of that, even though he still wasn't sure of how to deal with this Hyde that was so different from the person he knew.
"I'll try to change," the singer continued, as if reading Tetsu's thoughts. "I don't know how much I'll be able to, but with what happened... I owe it to Sakura to grow up a little. And also... This is very late, but...." the vocalist broke off and stood silent for a full couple of minutes, collecting his nerve while Tetsu waited patiently. "I am sorry, Tetsu," he finally said. "You were right, all those years ago. I did come to regret things after all."
A lesser man would have demanded more, would have asked for full admition of what exactly Hyde was now regretting.
A greater man would have done more than just nod in acknowledgment and silent forgiveness.
But Tetsu was neither and Hyde did not expect anything other from him. However, both of them understood the significance of what happened and Tetsu knew just how much it cost Hyde to say this - not in a middle of a breakdown, but in a heartfelt and honest way. Most honest that Hyde had ever been, probably.
"I visited Ken just now," Hyde changed the topic awkwardly and Tetsu did hear the untold 'because I was too afraid to come to you first' between his words, "He told me you've been speaking with probable drummer replacement?"
There was no accusation of abandoning Sakura, just resignation. Tetsu breathed out in relief and sat down, gesturing for Hyde to do the same.
"It's just Yukihiro. You know him, we worked with him before. Sakura mentioned him when I asked for his opinion." he answered dutifully, "It's rather tentative at the moment. We're in no position to expect anyone to want to be associated with us. But I think he's leaning towards agreeing. We'll pull through."
"I did like him when he worked with us," Hyde mused out loud, his eyes with a faraway gaze at the memory.
"Hyde, you can't possibly..." Tetsu was quick to become suspicious, his eyes narrowing.
"No!" Hyde cut him off emphatically, "I promise, I won't. I really mean it. I... I'm trying to give up on that altogether," he swore, his eyes wide as he looked into Tetsu's eyes, willing the bassist to believe in his sincerity.
"So no more cleaning up after you?" Tetsu asked in a hopeful voice after a second's deliberation and deciding to trust the singer. Hyde started laughing even as a tear of something akin to relief appeared in his eye.
"Yes," he said through another chuckle. "No more of that, I hope."
There was some kind of profound understanding in the air. Like for the first time ever, there were no games, no rules, no secrets or hidden meanings between them. They both were as open as they had ever been. Tetsu didn't know of any words that would be worthy of disturbing the peaceful atmosphere that suddenly enveloped them. Hyde, apparently, did however.
"You know, Tetchan," he said haltingly, his eyes dropping downwards in sudden hesitance. "I thought about a lot of things during my time off. And, maybe even more than I thought about our situation, I tried to figure out the answer to that question I asked you before I went away."
The singer let a moment of meaningful silence linger then and Tetsu just waited for something that he had waited for the whole time he had known the older man to pass. He did not start hoping, or become excited. His heart did not start beating faster and his breathing did not quicken in anticipation. He had been ready for this moment for a very long time, and he did not feel nervous at all. He just let Hyde speak at his own pace.
"And what I realized, Tetchan," the singer continued eventually, "was that I love you too."
Tetsu smiled calmly at the revelation that was honestly no revelation to anyone but Hyde himself and took the singer's hand into his own, squeezing it gently to communicate his appreciation of the words.
"I know. Maybe that's why I love you," he whispered, confirming what Hyde had figured out on his own already.
And then, he promptly ruined the atmosphere with a loud yawn.
"I'm sorry," he almost giggled at the expression on the singer's face at the mood-breaker, "I was just about to go to sleep when you came by. Do you want to spend the night here again? It's really late already."
The singer's eyes lit up.
"Sex?" he asked, hopefully and Tetsu facefaulted in his mind, happy that his way of ruining the mood at least had not been crude.
"No, you nymphomaniac," he said, gently hitting the singer upside the head and standing up with an exaggerated huff, "You'll stay in the guestroom again."
"But Tetchaaan," the singer whined, following him with a pout. "Come on, I haven't had any for more than a month! You weren't this difficult the first time!"
"I said no. I wasn't in love with you the first time. And you were not rebounding at the time either."
"I'm not rebounding!" Hyde protested. "I liked Sakura, but it's been months now and I..."
Tetsu suddenly turned back to face the singer in the middle of their trip to the guest bedroom and, before the tiny man even realized what was happening, captured the vocalist's lips with his own. Gently yet passionately, he varied the pressure until the lips beneath him parted to release a moan and then the kiss deepened, Tetsu's tongue exploring the warmth in a maddeningly slow manner. His own consciousness hazed over and he had no presence of mind to gloat when he saw the man who prided himself for his expertise in lovemaking completely spaced out and disbelieving from one, quick kiss.
"Will you go to sleep now?" He asked with a teasing smile and Hyde finally recovered, his expression losing all flirtatiousness and boldness to which he fell back to from habit and in understandable search of normalcy. There was no need for that anymore, however, and Tetsu was glad that he managed to show that.
"Yes," Hyde answered after a blissful while. "In fact, I think I'll sleep very well tonight." Things were still awkward, and old habits will keep popping up for a very long time yet, Tetsu was sure. But this was the man he had fallen in love with six years ago, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
Change had happened, and there will be more changes very soon. But one thing was for sure - their little game had ended. And there were no losers.
Hyde | Tetsu
♥ | ♥
Epilogue
--------
Note: Yes, yes, cheezy as hell, I know. There's just the epilogue left for this now.
Suggested BGM for the beginning of this chapter: "Poor Jack" (Nightmare before Christmas). That's what I started hearing in my head when I was writing it. Quite insistently :D
Pairings: Tetsu x Hyde x Tetsu
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not claim to have any j-rockers in my possession
Warnings: Male x Male stuff. Slight OOC and AU, because this is just not how it really was. But hey, that's why this is fan fiction, right?
Summary: When Tetsu approaches Hyde to join his band, the vocalist turns out to be everything he's been made out to be and more. But is that more than the new band leader can handle?
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Tetsu collapsed on the couch of his living room in a manner of a person who has decided not to get up ever again. Or at least, not to get up for as long as their crazy situation and schedule allowed them to. The same situation that had him up and running with almost no sleep for three whole days now, struggling to keep his dreams alive, his precious people as unaffected as possible and the load that appeared after the recent events as much on his shoulders as he could.
He could deal with this, He knew that. Even with things slipping out of his control, he had the ability to keep his band alive, against all the odds. And that's all that mattered in his mind. Almost all.
The only thing preceding this, was the one thing that made him stand up far before his organism was ready to move again after all. A doorbell. He instinctively knew who was on the other side of the door, who was the only one desperate enough to bother him at this time and who he hadn't seen for almost as long as those same three days he almost hadn't slept. He did not even groan as he got up, grabbing hold of the last surge of adrenaline he still had in his system and dragged himself to the door, opening it and barely blinking at the sight that met him.
It was obviously a face of a man who was in the middle of a change, Tetsu was glad to note. The indecision, confusion, even the hurt was a good sign to a certain extent in this situation. And more than anything else, there was a plea for help. For advice. For salvation.
For answers.
Hyde was a truly pitiful sight to behold.
"Hyde-san," he greeted with an indifferent nod, far more aware of the roles they have played up to this point than he probably should have been now, considering the circumstances.
"Tetchan," the answer was barely hearable, buried under a mountain of guilt and loss of what to do. The eyes of the man in front of the bassist filled with tears for the first time he'd known him and his voice was choked by repentance. "I'm... I'm so sorry, Tetchan, if I'd known, I would have... I don't know, but I would have done something..."
It was the first opportunity to talk they had since the news reached them, as one of Tetsu's main goals the last three days was to keep Hyde out of the media's view while he patched the biggest problems up as good as he could alone or with the occasional help of Ken - someone who kept his cool far better than the uncharacteristically emotional vocalist did. As far as he knew (and he, by all means, should know right), the singer had been cooped up in his apartment, with a label-hired bodyguard near him at all times. It was a mystery how the small man even got out to visit him without a deceivingly good-meaning entourage tagging along.
"Believe me, Hyde, you've already done enough," was the response that flew from Tetsu's mouth before he even considered it, and he decided that the exhaustion was effecting him more than he thought. The singer had no means of knowing the bassist didn't mean that, however. He withdrew to himself even more.
"I'm so sorry. You were right and it's all my fault. Because of me Sakura, and Laruku, and you guys..." Hyde was blabbering now, his words mixing together into an incomprehensible mess. Tetsu could just imagine how the singer spent the last three days thinking over what has happened and maybe even planning out this very apology that was fated to failure as soon as he laid eyes on the bassist and the reality of the situation hit him full-force again.
For a full second, Tetsu considered just continuing to stare coolly down at the man that was obviously having a breakdown in front of him. But when that second passed, he silently gathered the practically sobbing man into his embrace, shushing him gently and waiting patiently for Hyde to calm down. When the distressed shaking finally subsided, the bassist finally became aware of the fact that he'd been hugging his singer at the door of his apartment for who knows how long. Without breaking the silence, he led the older man inside, closing the door behind them and sitting Hyde on the couch.
"I'll put you up for the night," the leader muttered, stepping away to peek into the guest bedroom to make sure everything was in order there before returning to the almost frozen man's side. "The state you're in, you probably won't make it home safely now."
Hyde looked up at him then, questions in his eyes as loud and clear as they'd be had he stated them. Tetsu sighed and sat down in front of the other.
"For now, don't worry about this. There is nothing you can do and I'll take care of everything."
"Alone?" the singer mouthed, the sound catching in his throat in his distress, startling him. But Tetsu paid it no mind.
"Ken will help me if I need anything," the cold rejection obviously hit Hyde full-force, but Tetsu was not going to gloss things over for him, not if Hyde was finally starting to take responsibility for his actions. As it was, the singer was barely stable right now, and would only hurt their case if he remained in the middle of the situation. Tetsu did not need that.
"Tomorrow, I'll make sure you get some time off. Hawaii, Bahamas, take your pick. It would be best if you left the country for a while, both for you and for the band," the leader continued and Hyde nodded in acceptance, not daring to disagree with anything after putting them into the situation in the first place.
"Can I go visit Sakura before I leave?" he asked, nonetheless and Tetsu shook his head.
"I don't think that is a good idea," he said without elaborating, but Hyde just nodded again, understandingly. The drummer probably wouldn't want to see him, in any case.
"Come on, now, go to sleep," Tetsu said after a moment of silence and urged the singer into the guestroom, waiting uncomfortably in the room for Hyde to unclothe and slip under the cover's just to make sure the small man did as told. As soon as the singer settled in the bed, however, he turned and was about to switch off the light when a voice stopped him.
"Tetchan?" the familiar address rolled off the vocalist's tongue with a curiously hesitant intonation, "Why do you keep doing this?"
Tetsu turned back to face Hyde, his brows furrowing in confusion.
"What do you mean?" he asked, honestly at a loss of what Hyde was referring to.
"All these years, I've been nothing but trouble for you, and I made it my life's goal to cause you as much discomfort as I could," the singer spoke, his voice regaining some of its strength in his desperation to understand, "I never even made it a secret. And yet you kept me in the band despite it, cleaned up after me, pulled me along, took care of me. Why? However beautiful you might think my voice is, it can't be worth it to put up with all I've put you through."
The bassist shrugged.
"Maybe not to you," he brushed it off, unfortunately without success.
"Tetchan," the vocalist said, obviously not buying it. If he were less tired, Tetsu might have taken offense at the almost patronizing tone, "Why did you let me stay all this time?"
Pushing on the switch that his hand had already been resting on Tetsu suddenly turned off the light and turned to leave again, mostly to hide the expression on his face - he had no idea what it was and didn't want Hyde seeing him losing control of his own features. He still did not know if it was a good idea to give Hyde any ammunition, as changed as the man seemed right now.
"I'm sure you'll realize the answer to that if you think a bit without much trouble," he answered cryptically and bid goodnight before the singer could try to respond.
He should call Hyde's apartment and calm the probably frantic by now bodyguard. He'll make sure the incompetent man is fired tomorrow.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the situation were not so grave or at least had less impact on his own future, Tetsu might have actually enjoyed dealing with its blowout. These might be the music industry's own brand of politics, but it was something he highly exceeded in. Take that, high-school teachers that called him a good-for-nothing.
In retrospect, he thought, maybe it was better that this happened when L'Arc~en~Ciel's popularity had been on such a steep rise, even if it did mean the media's attention fell down on them with an almost terrifying intensity. But at least now there was not one person (who had an actual say in this) that was really against the band's continued activity as soon as the scandal died down. There were reprimands of course, uncountable even. There was blame thrown around, Japan's peculiar ways of viewing drugs confronted and even threats of the band being buried so far down, none of its members would even dream of standing on stage again.
Empty threats. Ones that made a very satisfying crunching sound once Tetsu could be bothered enough to step on them.
Interestingly enough, one of the more difficult tasks for Tetsu was getting a chance to visit Sakura again. There were suspicions (quite reasonable, Tetsu had to admit) that the leader would be incredibly angry at the drummer for ruining his band and that letting them both into the same room was a tragedy waiting to happen.
But Tetsu barely blamed Sakura at all. He blamed himself the most, actually.
Obviously, the two of them would not come out of this as close friends, but then, they never actually were. So the visit, once Tetsu made it happen, consisted of worried inquiries about health, polite exchanges of apologies and, once the subject was broached, there was also a mention of a name. Satisfied, Tetsu left after getting what he came for and readied himself for a long search.
He knew quite well that Yukihiro would not be easy to find.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tetsu shook off a strong feeling of deja vu when he opened the door to his apartment after the doorbell rang. The vocalist was not supposed to be back for another week at the least, and yet here he was, complete with a Hawaiian Flower Lei and an Aloha shirt. Admittedly, the perfect smile was missing, but Hyde never had straight teeth so that couldn't be helped.
"Tetchan!" Hyde almost shouted as he grinned up at him and walked past into the apartment without even asking for permission.
Well, at least the mood had improved drastically, the bassist mused to himself. The holiday worked as he had intended it to then, if a little faster than he thought it would.
"What are doing here?" he asked tiredly, following the almost annoyingly cheerful vocalist into his own home. "You're back early."
"I know," Hyde answered, sobering up a little as he brought out some items Tetsu concluded were souvenirs for him (was that a hula girl statuette?) onto the living room table.
"Why?" Tetsu asked, though he probably knew half of the answer already, judging by the singer's mood. Hyde put the last object on the table and turned back to look at him, his smile a bit strained now, but still present.
"I just had enough time already to realize that my moping and blaming myself was not helping anyone," he said slowly, "I don't know if I can do anything to actually help, but I'm willing to try."
Tetsu could not disprove of that, even though he still wasn't sure of how to deal with this Hyde that was so different from the person he knew.
"I'll try to change," the singer continued, as if reading Tetsu's thoughts. "I don't know how much I'll be able to, but with what happened... I owe it to Sakura to grow up a little. And also... This is very late, but...." the vocalist broke off and stood silent for a full couple of minutes, collecting his nerve while Tetsu waited patiently. "I am sorry, Tetsu," he finally said. "You were right, all those years ago. I did come to regret things after all."
A lesser man would have demanded more, would have asked for full admition of what exactly Hyde was now regretting.
A greater man would have done more than just nod in acknowledgment and silent forgiveness.
But Tetsu was neither and Hyde did not expect anything other from him. However, both of them understood the significance of what happened and Tetsu knew just how much it cost Hyde to say this - not in a middle of a breakdown, but in a heartfelt and honest way. Most honest that Hyde had ever been, probably.
"I visited Ken just now," Hyde changed the topic awkwardly and Tetsu did hear the untold 'because I was too afraid to come to you first' between his words, "He told me you've been speaking with probable drummer replacement?"
There was no accusation of abandoning Sakura, just resignation. Tetsu breathed out in relief and sat down, gesturing for Hyde to do the same.
"It's just Yukihiro. You know him, we worked with him before. Sakura mentioned him when I asked for his opinion." he answered dutifully, "It's rather tentative at the moment. We're in no position to expect anyone to want to be associated with us. But I think he's leaning towards agreeing. We'll pull through."
"I did like him when he worked with us," Hyde mused out loud, his eyes with a faraway gaze at the memory.
"Hyde, you can't possibly..." Tetsu was quick to become suspicious, his eyes narrowing.
"No!" Hyde cut him off emphatically, "I promise, I won't. I really mean it. I... I'm trying to give up on that altogether," he swore, his eyes wide as he looked into Tetsu's eyes, willing the bassist to believe in his sincerity.
"So no more cleaning up after you?" Tetsu asked in a hopeful voice after a second's deliberation and deciding to trust the singer. Hyde started laughing even as a tear of something akin to relief appeared in his eye.
"Yes," he said through another chuckle. "No more of that, I hope."
There was some kind of profound understanding in the air. Like for the first time ever, there were no games, no rules, no secrets or hidden meanings between them. They both were as open as they had ever been. Tetsu didn't know of any words that would be worthy of disturbing the peaceful atmosphere that suddenly enveloped them. Hyde, apparently, did however.
"You know, Tetchan," he said haltingly, his eyes dropping downwards in sudden hesitance. "I thought about a lot of things during my time off. And, maybe even more than I thought about our situation, I tried to figure out the answer to that question I asked you before I went away."
The singer let a moment of meaningful silence linger then and Tetsu just waited for something that he had waited for the whole time he had known the older man to pass. He did not start hoping, or become excited. His heart did not start beating faster and his breathing did not quicken in anticipation. He had been ready for this moment for a very long time, and he did not feel nervous at all. He just let Hyde speak at his own pace.
"And what I realized, Tetchan," the singer continued eventually, "was that I love you too."
Tetsu smiled calmly at the revelation that was honestly no revelation to anyone but Hyde himself and took the singer's hand into his own, squeezing it gently to communicate his appreciation of the words.
"I know. Maybe that's why I love you," he whispered, confirming what Hyde had figured out on his own already.
And then, he promptly ruined the atmosphere with a loud yawn.
"I'm sorry," he almost giggled at the expression on the singer's face at the mood-breaker, "I was just about to go to sleep when you came by. Do you want to spend the night here again? It's really late already."
The singer's eyes lit up.
"Sex?" he asked, hopefully and Tetsu facefaulted in his mind, happy that his way of ruining the mood at least had not been crude.
"No, you nymphomaniac," he said, gently hitting the singer upside the head and standing up with an exaggerated huff, "You'll stay in the guestroom again."
"But Tetchaaan," the singer whined, following him with a pout. "Come on, I haven't had any for more than a month! You weren't this difficult the first time!"
"I said no. I wasn't in love with you the first time. And you were not rebounding at the time either."
"I'm not rebounding!" Hyde protested. "I liked Sakura, but it's been months now and I..."
Tetsu suddenly turned back to face the singer in the middle of their trip to the guest bedroom and, before the tiny man even realized what was happening, captured the vocalist's lips with his own. Gently yet passionately, he varied the pressure until the lips beneath him parted to release a moan and then the kiss deepened, Tetsu's tongue exploring the warmth in a maddeningly slow manner. His own consciousness hazed over and he had no presence of mind to gloat when he saw the man who prided himself for his expertise in lovemaking completely spaced out and disbelieving from one, quick kiss.
"Will you go to sleep now?" He asked with a teasing smile and Hyde finally recovered, his expression losing all flirtatiousness and boldness to which he fell back to from habit and in understandable search of normalcy. There was no need for that anymore, however, and Tetsu was glad that he managed to show that.
"Yes," Hyde answered after a blissful while. "In fact, I think I'll sleep very well tonight." Things were still awkward, and old habits will keep popping up for a very long time yet, Tetsu was sure. But this was the man he had fallen in love with six years ago, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
Change had happened, and there will be more changes very soon. But one thing was for sure - their little game had ended. And there were no losers.
Hyde | Tetsu
♥ | ♥
Epilogue
--------
Note: Yes, yes, cheezy as hell, I know. There's just the epilogue left for this now.
Suggested BGM for the beginning of this chapter: "Poor Jack" (Nightmare before Christmas). That's what I started hearing in my head when I was writing it. Quite insistently :D
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Date: 2010-10-27 09:58 pm (UTC)Thank you very much :)