The Game, Chapter 6
Oct. 15th, 2010 10:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
radhajTitle: The Game
Pairings: Tetsu x Hyde x Tetsu
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not claim to have any j-rockers in my possession
Warnings: Male x Male stuff. Slight OOC and AU, because this is just not how it really was. But hey, that's why this is fan fiction, right?
Summary: When Tetsu approaches Hyde to join his band, the vocalist turns out to be everything he's been made out to be and more. But is that more than the new band leader can handle?
Note: After reading your comments to last chapter I think most of you either didn't notice what the last couple of lines said or didn't realize the significance. Or just chose to ignore it. Well, this chapter might be a little surprising then.
----------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
It was better than an alcohol induced haze and greater than any high a drug could give. In a certain way, it was better than the adrenaline rush of a live, even though thousands of pairs of adoring eyes were replaced by only one. The smell of sweat and sex in the air filled his nostrils with sweet familiarity and the muscular body beneath his writhed and arched in the rhythm that he liked best. Just like on the stage, here he was the God and the Master of skill. Only this skill was the most sinful of them all, as well as the most pleasurable. And at this moment, this particular pair of eyes had all the intensity of a thousand and it was all directed towards him alone. The fact that this was the first and probably the last time he'll feel this particular gaze on him just served to heighten the feeling.
This might not have been Hyde's own bed, but it was his territory, his play field. And here, he was the brightest star of them all.
In the last few years he had learned to treasure these opportunities. They've become harder to come by and it was normally only every other stop of one tour or another that the singer managed to sneak out to a club at night and do what he did best. The sleaziest bar in Kawasaki on Monday, the darkest one in Chiba next Wednesday. That is, if he was lucky enough. He liked his fame to a certain extent, but it was quite an annoyance in times like this.
A sigh of contentment slipped from his lips when his companion of the night (whatever was his name, he never asked) started snoring and he was free to sneak out and use the shower. One more night of complete success. The only thing left was to catch a ride back to his hotel.
Well, almost the last. Tiredly, he noted the number of the apartment and the building that he was leaving as he sat into a taxi. Tetsu never went back on his word to keep his affairs out of the public's knowledge, but as the band leader's responsibilities piled up, he asked the singer to at least give him the whereabouts of the people he slept with so he wouldn't have to worry about finding them out himself.
Hyde's first response, of course, was to protest the idea of having to report his activities, but that was before he realized that this was the perfect excuse to flaunt his affairs into Tetsu's face every single time. See his reaction. The thought sounded... positively delicious to him.
Sometimes the singer wondered how exactly Tetsu kept his promise. What did he do if he thought that a particular one-night stand of Hyde's might talk? How did he keep them quiet? Bribery? Threats? The leader's magical way with words and ability to convince? Whatever it was, it always worked without the slightest hitch.
The hotel's reception was quiet and the sleepy receptionist barely nodded to him as he passed. A long elevator ride to the third floor from the top and a short trip down the dark hallway brought him to a door with light shining from the crack beneath them. Hyde briefly pondered if Tetsu ever slept when they were touring or spent all of his nights worrying over details and planning the upcoming lives.
He knocked softly and it only took a few moments of waiting before the door was opened by a tired looking bassist. Hyde offered him the slip of paper he had scribbled the address on without a word and was rewarded by a satisfying grimace on Tetsu's face. It dwindled away from existence very quickly though.
"How's Sakura?" the bassist asked with a slightly hoarse from sleep deprivation voice. Hyde blinked.
"What about him?" he asked, confused and Tetsu froze for a second before sighing.
"Never mind," he whispered rubbing his temples with the fingers of his empty hand and Hyde found himself lingering for an unknown reason.
"Is Ken already asleep?" he asked finally after the other occupant of the suite, at the door of which he was standing. Tetsu nodded.
"As you should be. It's late. Go to sleep. I don't want us to be late departing for the next city tomorrow, so no sleeping in," the leader said in a very business-like manner.
"You're one to talk," Hyde pointed out, but Tetsu just shrugged and closed the door after a very mangled up good-night. Hyde stared at the closed door for a couple of seconds before turning to walk towards his own room. There was something a little off about the exchange, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
He started digging around in his pockets for his key when he noticed there was light shining from behind the door to his and Sakura's suite as well. Still, he unlocked the door himself and slipped inside, smiling when he saw his far more long-term lover than the one he just left spacing out on the couch in the middle of the room. Quietly, he toed off his shoes and slithered up to the drummer, sliding his arms around the man's neck from behind and kissing the side of his face. He felt Sakura tense initially, but then he relaxed again, though there was a guarded look on the drummer's face when he turned to look at the singer.
"You just had sex," it was a statement, not a question and Hyde didn't make a big deal out of it. He'd made it clear from the beginning of his relationship with this man that he had no intention of changing his ways and Sakura never once complained, so Hyde figured they had an understanding between them. It certainly seemed to work out completely fine, considering they have stayed together all this time despite all that.
"Mmm," he murmured distractedly as he took a seat beside his friend and started placing fleeting kisses up his neck, "quite good sex too, but if you're up to it I wouldn't mind..." he trailed off when his lips reached the drummer's jaw and he caught sight of Sakura's obviously dilated pupils. Immediately sitting back up and straightening out he took hold of one of the younger man's limp arms and slid the sleeve up. He gritted his teeth when he saw undeniable proof of why exactly his lover was this spaced out.
Looking back to Sakura's face with a very pronounced frown of disapproval, he carelessly let the hand fall down beside the drummer again.
"You just shot up," he accused even when his brain unhelpfully supplied this was absolutely futile with the other man so high, "Sakura, this is happening far too often lately, you can't oomph-"
He was very successfully made to shut up when the younger man leaned in and covered his lips with his own in a fierce kiss. There's alcohol too, he thought when he sensed the familiar taste in his lover's mouth. His heart gave an unpleasant lurch.
He let the younger man explore his mouth for a few more seconds before gently breaking the kiss and running his finger's down the other's still slightly long hair in a gesture of affection and also as a habit of frustration in the recent absence of his own long and curly locks.
"Let's just go to sleep," he said softly, giving up and rising to his feet, gently tugging on the muscular man's arm in an attempt to get him to move towards one of the bedrooms.
"You go, I'll join you soon," Sakura murmured, closing his eyes, "I want to enjoy this for a little bit more."
Hyde stood looking at his lover with worry in his eyes for a couple more minutes before choosing a bedroom at random and stepping towards it. Not only he won't be able to sleep in tomorrow, he'll also have to wake up earlier if he wanted to make Sakura wake up in time as well.
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It was not often that Hyde really partook in much alcohol when he went to clubs or bars. He normally didn't like how it affected his behavior and found it counter-productive to getting into his act. But this particular evening he was sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of scotch, and was far more interested in his own thoughts than singling out a man for the night. He'd get to that soon, he told himself, but right now he was... worried.
It had been a very gradual process, Sakura's slipping further into his drug abuse. What at first seemed like an almost innocent habit that, nonetheless, the other members of Laruku didn't particularly like yet didn't talk about, slowly evolved into something more. As years went by, it got to the point where Sakura even skipped practices from time to time or disappeared without telling anyone for a couple of days. Hyde knew that Tetsu had quite a few discussions with he drummer about it behind closed doors and so he left his lover alone as he figured that Tetsu's nagging would be enough - he certainly knew how annoying that got. But in the last few months it went from bad to worse. He knew Sakura's relationship with Tetsu and Ken suffered greatly because of it and tried very hard on not letting it influence his own. But he knew he was failing and that he'll have to address the issue eventually. He just didn't know how.
The singer was suddenly startled from his thoughts when someone slipped onto the bar-stool next to his and almost choked on the gulp of scotch that he had been enjoying the taste of when he realized it was Tetsu.
"It's far easier to find you in Tokyo than it is when you go out while we're in other cities," the leader said, not bothering with a greeting, only barely loudly enough to be heard over the music and the general noise in the room, "I guess it means that Tokyo really is the most familiar place to us by now. I still like Osaka better though."
Hyde didn't know what to answer to that and just looked on stupidly as the bassist ordered a drink of his own. They sat silently while the barman got him the beverage and then a minute more when Tetsu took a few gulps from it.
"We no longer need Sakura to help us get by here," the younger man continued eventually. "But we require him, quite badly, as a drummer. Preferably one that is on Earth more often than flying high in the clouds."
Hyde winced. Figures Tetsu will finally talk about it with him. It had been only a matter of time, after all. But for once, he agreed with the bassist wholeheartedly.
"I know," he said, and as much as he hated showing a weakness in front of Tetsu, he continued to confess, "I have no idea what to do though."
"Don't you?" The bassist asked sharply and Hyde was surprised at the sting in his voice. Hadn't he sounded sincere enough?
"Do you think I like him doing this to himself?" he asked, his voice rising as well. "If I knew how to stop him, I'd have done it ages ago!"
"Well, why don't you start at the underlying cause?" The bassist asked, still accusingly and Hyde frowned.
"What underlying cause?" he asked, feeling honestly clueless and Tetsu looked at him incredulously.
"You honestly don't understand, do you?" he asked and Hyde could only shake his head. "Don't you think his lover openly cheating on him with a different person every week might have something to do with it?"
This immediately put Hyde into a defensive mode.
"He knew exactly what he was getting into. I told him. And he never said a word about it. It's who I am, Tetsu, and just because you can't accept it does not mean that nobody can!"
"Hyde, I probably understand you better than anyone!" Tetsu whispered sharply, probably because otherwise he'd be shouting loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear by now, "And Sakura probably thought that in time you'd realize how horribly you're behaving and stop. Maybe he thought that one day, he would be enough for you. That you'll start loving him enough. He can't handle being with you, not with the way you are! He can't handle you! You are breaking him!"
Hyde leaned away from the onslaught of words and looked down at the surface of the bar, his mind reeling in anger that he didn't dare express because a voice in his head whispered that maybe Tetsu was right.
"You said once, that you wanted to stay with Sakura," Tetsu continued a little more calmly, "And I honestly wanted to believe that. Because despite what you think, I only want what's good for you. But you haven't found that person to stay with yet, Hyde. Not if you can't change for him. And you have to change. Or you have to leave him. Before it's too late."
His head spinning from shock, Hyde did not even notice when, having said his part, Tetsu left. However he did notice when he finished his drink. Numbly, he ordered another one.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never before had Hyde been faced with the dilemma of how to leave a lover. It never got to a point where he actually cared about it, however he did care about Sakura. Deeply.
Just not deeply enough to change himself.
And he knew that on the off-chance, on the slight possibility that Tetsu was right (he could never admit any more than that) he had to take this step. Had to find a right way.
However, even the best way he could find left him running out of the room with the sincerest apology in his life when he saw his only long-term lover's face crumble in shock and then resignation before the drummer asked to be left alone for a while.
Hyde felt hope, however. He felt as if a weight lifted off his shoulders when the task was done with and he believed that this meant that Sakura would be able to start recovering and move on.
He believed that even when the drummer didn't show up for the next practice. It was only natural, even Tetsu agreed, that Sakura needed a little bit of time. Even when it became obvious that the drug abuse worsened in the weeks that followed. He told himself that this was just temporary, just for a while until Sakura found his footing again.
He stopped deluding himself only when, a couple of months later, he got a call from Ken to come to his apartment and was welcomed by two very serious silhouettes of his older bandmates. He sat on an armchair as far from the other two as he could and waited with baited breath for someone to start talking.
"It was too late," Tetsu stated the obvious, really, something that should have been obvious from the start, "We need to get him professional help, it cannot continue like this."
Hyde startled at the sadly spoken words but kept quiet. Tetsu's voice only rose, however.
"I asked you not to break him, Hyde. That was probably the only thing I ever asked of you as seriously as this so why couldn't you, for once in your miserable life, do what..."
"Tetsu, man, shut it," Ken cut the raging bassist off, not a note of his usual jokes in his tone, "It's long past the time when we should be throwing blame around. We were the ones that didn't intervene before, so we're just as guilty. We need a solution now, the problem is more than clear already."
Tetsu deflated and sunk back to his seat from which he had begun rising. Taking a few calming breaths, the leader buried his face in his palms, rubbing his eyes, and started thinking out loud.
"I'll start looking for a specialist we can trust not to blurb this out tomorrow. In the meantime, someone has to start convincing Sakura that it is what's best for him. Probably you Ken, I don't think he'll listen to Hyde right now."
Ken grimaced but did not argue with the appointment. Hyde still hadn't said a word. He felt like his entire world was shaking from its very foundations. He didn't want to lose the band. He didn't want to lose his friend. He didn't want to lose his friends, but he was completely helpless to do anything. Why was everything suddenly so difficult? Why did he let himself become invested in so many things? Why couldn't he have just stuck with what he did best, where it was comfortable and familiar?
The heavy silence clouded the room and the gloomy atmosphere almost hurt as they considered what to do. But there was no way to magically clear it all up, and all three of them knew it.
"If we're trying to deal with this now, wouldn't it be better if the band took a break for a while?" Ken mused out loud after a while and Tetsu nodded.
"I already cleared that. As soon as the promotions are over we'll have a few..."
He was interrupted by a loud and unfamiliar ringing sound that made them look around. Realizing something, Tetsu jumped up and went to his bag. After a few moments, he produced a rather bulky and inelegant cellphone that was the originator of the stupid melody. Casting a short look of disgust to the not well-liked by him but necessary device, he picked up the call with an almost disgruntled "Hello". As he started listening to whoever it was on the other end, Ken and Hyde witnessed as color drained impossibly quickly from the young man's face.
"What?" he choked out after a while and the word that should have come out as a yell of disbelief only resounded as a breathy whisper. "Okay, I understand. I'll come up right away."
An absent-minded push of the button to end the call later, he was looking up into now worriedly curious faces of his band-members. In the next instant he seemed to forcefully take control over his emotions again and spoke in a voice that barely trembled at all.
"Sakura was just arrested for heroin possession," he said emptily. "I'm going to the police station. Ken, you and Hyde should go to the label. If there's any possibility that L'Arc~en~Ciel will survive this, we have to address this immediately. Cooperate with the management, tell them everything they need to know but only what they need to know. Let them understand we're not gonna let the band be erased from existence because of this. You should probably do the talking. And just take care of Hyde."
Hyde barely heard any of that indeed and had to be hauled up by Ken and physically dragged to a car. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. His entire world had just crumbled down around him.
Tetsu turned out to be right once again. Hyde lost to him again. But he also lost to himself.
He just lost himself.
Hyde | Tetsu
3 | 3
Chapter 7
Pairings: Tetsu x Hyde x Tetsu
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not claim to have any j-rockers in my possession
Warnings: Male x Male stuff. Slight OOC and AU, because this is just not how it really was. But hey, that's why this is fan fiction, right?
Summary: When Tetsu approaches Hyde to join his band, the vocalist turns out to be everything he's been made out to be and more. But is that more than the new band leader can handle?
Note: After reading your comments to last chapter I think most of you either didn't notice what the last couple of lines said or didn't realize the significance. Or just chose to ignore it. Well, this chapter might be a little surprising then.
----------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
It was better than an alcohol induced haze and greater than any high a drug could give. In a certain way, it was better than the adrenaline rush of a live, even though thousands of pairs of adoring eyes were replaced by only one. The smell of sweat and sex in the air filled his nostrils with sweet familiarity and the muscular body beneath his writhed and arched in the rhythm that he liked best. Just like on the stage, here he was the God and the Master of skill. Only this skill was the most sinful of them all, as well as the most pleasurable. And at this moment, this particular pair of eyes had all the intensity of a thousand and it was all directed towards him alone. The fact that this was the first and probably the last time he'll feel this particular gaze on him just served to heighten the feeling.
This might not have been Hyde's own bed, but it was his territory, his play field. And here, he was the brightest star of them all.
In the last few years he had learned to treasure these opportunities. They've become harder to come by and it was normally only every other stop of one tour or another that the singer managed to sneak out to a club at night and do what he did best. The sleaziest bar in Kawasaki on Monday, the darkest one in Chiba next Wednesday. That is, if he was lucky enough. He liked his fame to a certain extent, but it was quite an annoyance in times like this.
A sigh of contentment slipped from his lips when his companion of the night (whatever was his name, he never asked) started snoring and he was free to sneak out and use the shower. One more night of complete success. The only thing left was to catch a ride back to his hotel.
Well, almost the last. Tiredly, he noted the number of the apartment and the building that he was leaving as he sat into a taxi. Tetsu never went back on his word to keep his affairs out of the public's knowledge, but as the band leader's responsibilities piled up, he asked the singer to at least give him the whereabouts of the people he slept with so he wouldn't have to worry about finding them out himself.
Hyde's first response, of course, was to protest the idea of having to report his activities, but that was before he realized that this was the perfect excuse to flaunt his affairs into Tetsu's face every single time. See his reaction. The thought sounded... positively delicious to him.
Sometimes the singer wondered how exactly Tetsu kept his promise. What did he do if he thought that a particular one-night stand of Hyde's might talk? How did he keep them quiet? Bribery? Threats? The leader's magical way with words and ability to convince? Whatever it was, it always worked without the slightest hitch.
The hotel's reception was quiet and the sleepy receptionist barely nodded to him as he passed. A long elevator ride to the third floor from the top and a short trip down the dark hallway brought him to a door with light shining from the crack beneath them. Hyde briefly pondered if Tetsu ever slept when they were touring or spent all of his nights worrying over details and planning the upcoming lives.
He knocked softly and it only took a few moments of waiting before the door was opened by a tired looking bassist. Hyde offered him the slip of paper he had scribbled the address on without a word and was rewarded by a satisfying grimace on Tetsu's face. It dwindled away from existence very quickly though.
"How's Sakura?" the bassist asked with a slightly hoarse from sleep deprivation voice. Hyde blinked.
"What about him?" he asked, confused and Tetsu froze for a second before sighing.
"Never mind," he whispered rubbing his temples with the fingers of his empty hand and Hyde found himself lingering for an unknown reason.
"Is Ken already asleep?" he asked finally after the other occupant of the suite, at the door of which he was standing. Tetsu nodded.
"As you should be. It's late. Go to sleep. I don't want us to be late departing for the next city tomorrow, so no sleeping in," the leader said in a very business-like manner.
"You're one to talk," Hyde pointed out, but Tetsu just shrugged and closed the door after a very mangled up good-night. Hyde stared at the closed door for a couple of seconds before turning to walk towards his own room. There was something a little off about the exchange, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
He started digging around in his pockets for his key when he noticed there was light shining from behind the door to his and Sakura's suite as well. Still, he unlocked the door himself and slipped inside, smiling when he saw his far more long-term lover than the one he just left spacing out on the couch in the middle of the room. Quietly, he toed off his shoes and slithered up to the drummer, sliding his arms around the man's neck from behind and kissing the side of his face. He felt Sakura tense initially, but then he relaxed again, though there was a guarded look on the drummer's face when he turned to look at the singer.
"You just had sex," it was a statement, not a question and Hyde didn't make a big deal out of it. He'd made it clear from the beginning of his relationship with this man that he had no intention of changing his ways and Sakura never once complained, so Hyde figured they had an understanding between them. It certainly seemed to work out completely fine, considering they have stayed together all this time despite all that.
"Mmm," he murmured distractedly as he took a seat beside his friend and started placing fleeting kisses up his neck, "quite good sex too, but if you're up to it I wouldn't mind..." he trailed off when his lips reached the drummer's jaw and he caught sight of Sakura's obviously dilated pupils. Immediately sitting back up and straightening out he took hold of one of the younger man's limp arms and slid the sleeve up. He gritted his teeth when he saw undeniable proof of why exactly his lover was this spaced out.
Looking back to Sakura's face with a very pronounced frown of disapproval, he carelessly let the hand fall down beside the drummer again.
"You just shot up," he accused even when his brain unhelpfully supplied this was absolutely futile with the other man so high, "Sakura, this is happening far too often lately, you can't oomph-"
He was very successfully made to shut up when the younger man leaned in and covered his lips with his own in a fierce kiss. There's alcohol too, he thought when he sensed the familiar taste in his lover's mouth. His heart gave an unpleasant lurch.
He let the younger man explore his mouth for a few more seconds before gently breaking the kiss and running his finger's down the other's still slightly long hair in a gesture of affection and also as a habit of frustration in the recent absence of his own long and curly locks.
"Let's just go to sleep," he said softly, giving up and rising to his feet, gently tugging on the muscular man's arm in an attempt to get him to move towards one of the bedrooms.
"You go, I'll join you soon," Sakura murmured, closing his eyes, "I want to enjoy this for a little bit more."
Hyde stood looking at his lover with worry in his eyes for a couple more minutes before choosing a bedroom at random and stepping towards it. Not only he won't be able to sleep in tomorrow, he'll also have to wake up earlier if he wanted to make Sakura wake up in time as well.
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It was not often that Hyde really partook in much alcohol when he went to clubs or bars. He normally didn't like how it affected his behavior and found it counter-productive to getting into his act. But this particular evening he was sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of scotch, and was far more interested in his own thoughts than singling out a man for the night. He'd get to that soon, he told himself, but right now he was... worried.
It had been a very gradual process, Sakura's slipping further into his drug abuse. What at first seemed like an almost innocent habit that, nonetheless, the other members of Laruku didn't particularly like yet didn't talk about, slowly evolved into something more. As years went by, it got to the point where Sakura even skipped practices from time to time or disappeared without telling anyone for a couple of days. Hyde knew that Tetsu had quite a few discussions with he drummer about it behind closed doors and so he left his lover alone as he figured that Tetsu's nagging would be enough - he certainly knew how annoying that got. But in the last few months it went from bad to worse. He knew Sakura's relationship with Tetsu and Ken suffered greatly because of it and tried very hard on not letting it influence his own. But he knew he was failing and that he'll have to address the issue eventually. He just didn't know how.
The singer was suddenly startled from his thoughts when someone slipped onto the bar-stool next to his and almost choked on the gulp of scotch that he had been enjoying the taste of when he realized it was Tetsu.
"It's far easier to find you in Tokyo than it is when you go out while we're in other cities," the leader said, not bothering with a greeting, only barely loudly enough to be heard over the music and the general noise in the room, "I guess it means that Tokyo really is the most familiar place to us by now. I still like Osaka better though."
Hyde didn't know what to answer to that and just looked on stupidly as the bassist ordered a drink of his own. They sat silently while the barman got him the beverage and then a minute more when Tetsu took a few gulps from it.
"We no longer need Sakura to help us get by here," the younger man continued eventually. "But we require him, quite badly, as a drummer. Preferably one that is on Earth more often than flying high in the clouds."
Hyde winced. Figures Tetsu will finally talk about it with him. It had been only a matter of time, after all. But for once, he agreed with the bassist wholeheartedly.
"I know," he said, and as much as he hated showing a weakness in front of Tetsu, he continued to confess, "I have no idea what to do though."
"Don't you?" The bassist asked sharply and Hyde was surprised at the sting in his voice. Hadn't he sounded sincere enough?
"Do you think I like him doing this to himself?" he asked, his voice rising as well. "If I knew how to stop him, I'd have done it ages ago!"
"Well, why don't you start at the underlying cause?" The bassist asked, still accusingly and Hyde frowned.
"What underlying cause?" he asked, feeling honestly clueless and Tetsu looked at him incredulously.
"You honestly don't understand, do you?" he asked and Hyde could only shake his head. "Don't you think his lover openly cheating on him with a different person every week might have something to do with it?"
This immediately put Hyde into a defensive mode.
"He knew exactly what he was getting into. I told him. And he never said a word about it. It's who I am, Tetsu, and just because you can't accept it does not mean that nobody can!"
"Hyde, I probably understand you better than anyone!" Tetsu whispered sharply, probably because otherwise he'd be shouting loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear by now, "And Sakura probably thought that in time you'd realize how horribly you're behaving and stop. Maybe he thought that one day, he would be enough for you. That you'll start loving him enough. He can't handle being with you, not with the way you are! He can't handle you! You are breaking him!"
Hyde leaned away from the onslaught of words and looked down at the surface of the bar, his mind reeling in anger that he didn't dare express because a voice in his head whispered that maybe Tetsu was right.
"You said once, that you wanted to stay with Sakura," Tetsu continued a little more calmly, "And I honestly wanted to believe that. Because despite what you think, I only want what's good for you. But you haven't found that person to stay with yet, Hyde. Not if you can't change for him. And you have to change. Or you have to leave him. Before it's too late."
His head spinning from shock, Hyde did not even notice when, having said his part, Tetsu left. However he did notice when he finished his drink. Numbly, he ordered another one.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never before had Hyde been faced with the dilemma of how to leave a lover. It never got to a point where he actually cared about it, however he did care about Sakura. Deeply.
Just not deeply enough to change himself.
And he knew that on the off-chance, on the slight possibility that Tetsu was right (he could never admit any more than that) he had to take this step. Had to find a right way.
However, even the best way he could find left him running out of the room with the sincerest apology in his life when he saw his only long-term lover's face crumble in shock and then resignation before the drummer asked to be left alone for a while.
Hyde felt hope, however. He felt as if a weight lifted off his shoulders when the task was done with and he believed that this meant that Sakura would be able to start recovering and move on.
He believed that even when the drummer didn't show up for the next practice. It was only natural, even Tetsu agreed, that Sakura needed a little bit of time. Even when it became obvious that the drug abuse worsened in the weeks that followed. He told himself that this was just temporary, just for a while until Sakura found his footing again.
He stopped deluding himself only when, a couple of months later, he got a call from Ken to come to his apartment and was welcomed by two very serious silhouettes of his older bandmates. He sat on an armchair as far from the other two as he could and waited with baited breath for someone to start talking.
"It was too late," Tetsu stated the obvious, really, something that should have been obvious from the start, "We need to get him professional help, it cannot continue like this."
Hyde startled at the sadly spoken words but kept quiet. Tetsu's voice only rose, however.
"I asked you not to break him, Hyde. That was probably the only thing I ever asked of you as seriously as this so why couldn't you, for once in your miserable life, do what..."
"Tetsu, man, shut it," Ken cut the raging bassist off, not a note of his usual jokes in his tone, "It's long past the time when we should be throwing blame around. We were the ones that didn't intervene before, so we're just as guilty. We need a solution now, the problem is more than clear already."
Tetsu deflated and sunk back to his seat from which he had begun rising. Taking a few calming breaths, the leader buried his face in his palms, rubbing his eyes, and started thinking out loud.
"I'll start looking for a specialist we can trust not to blurb this out tomorrow. In the meantime, someone has to start convincing Sakura that it is what's best for him. Probably you Ken, I don't think he'll listen to Hyde right now."
Ken grimaced but did not argue with the appointment. Hyde still hadn't said a word. He felt like his entire world was shaking from its very foundations. He didn't want to lose the band. He didn't want to lose his friend. He didn't want to lose his friends, but he was completely helpless to do anything. Why was everything suddenly so difficult? Why did he let himself become invested in so many things? Why couldn't he have just stuck with what he did best, where it was comfortable and familiar?
The heavy silence clouded the room and the gloomy atmosphere almost hurt as they considered what to do. But there was no way to magically clear it all up, and all three of them knew it.
"If we're trying to deal with this now, wouldn't it be better if the band took a break for a while?" Ken mused out loud after a while and Tetsu nodded.
"I already cleared that. As soon as the promotions are over we'll have a few..."
He was interrupted by a loud and unfamiliar ringing sound that made them look around. Realizing something, Tetsu jumped up and went to his bag. After a few moments, he produced a rather bulky and inelegant cellphone that was the originator of the stupid melody. Casting a short look of disgust to the not well-liked by him but necessary device, he picked up the call with an almost disgruntled "Hello". As he started listening to whoever it was on the other end, Ken and Hyde witnessed as color drained impossibly quickly from the young man's face.
"What?" he choked out after a while and the word that should have come out as a yell of disbelief only resounded as a breathy whisper. "Okay, I understand. I'll come up right away."
An absent-minded push of the button to end the call later, he was looking up into now worriedly curious faces of his band-members. In the next instant he seemed to forcefully take control over his emotions again and spoke in a voice that barely trembled at all.
"Sakura was just arrested for heroin possession," he said emptily. "I'm going to the police station. Ken, you and Hyde should go to the label. If there's any possibility that L'Arc~en~Ciel will survive this, we have to address this immediately. Cooperate with the management, tell them everything they need to know but only what they need to know. Let them understand we're not gonna let the band be erased from existence because of this. You should probably do the talking. And just take care of Hyde."
Hyde barely heard any of that indeed and had to be hauled up by Ken and physically dragged to a car. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't speak. His entire world had just crumbled down around him.
Tetsu turned out to be right once again. Hyde lost to him again. But he also lost to himself.
He just lost himself.
Hyde | Tetsu
3 | 3
Chapter 7
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no subject
Date: 2010-10-19 08:54 pm (UTC)OMK
OMK
NEVER IN HISTORY OF FICWRITERS
HAZ ANYONE WRITTEN THIS SCENE THIZ BRILLIANT!!!
it was...brilliant.the atmosphere and the plot were
just sooo right!!! COOKIESSZZZFORYOUUU<3
no subject
Date: 2010-10-19 09:19 pm (UTC)*noms cookies, glowing from happiness and still blushing*
no subject
Date: 2010-10-19 09:51 pm (UTC)