The Arrangement, pt 2
Jul. 7th, 2010 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
radhajTitle: The Arrangement
Pairings: Hyde x Tetsu
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: p0rn but not entirely without plot
Summary: The concept of "friends with benefits" does work. But only while it stays strictly just that... on both sides.
Part 2 of 3
Tetsu groaned both in relief and to release some of the frustration he felt when he closed the door behind him after returning home. It had been a long day of haggling with sponsors and convincing them that L'Arc~en~Ciel still had it in them to entice more fans and would be certainly worth the money any of the conceitedly skeptical men would invest. In a rare turn of events, he had the companionship of Hyde in today's meetings and the vocalist helped him by adding his own insight and ability to charm to his hard facts and concrete examples. It helped the day become more bearable, but he still felt almost dirty for selling his band and his music so blatantly for profit.
And talking about Hyde and feeling dirty...
Tetsu shook his head. His thoughts returned to the same matter at every single opportunity it got, which was quite a lot, but he had promised to himself not to torture himself with thoughts about it anymore.
Only of course, it was not that easy. The issue ate at his heart as rust ate through metal and not thinking about it was just as painful as thinking about it. Feeling frustration return to him for a different reason now, Tetsu threw his bag to the side and dragged himself towards the bathroom. A shower sounded blissful right about now. But even the pleasant stream of warm water over his body did not distract him from the thoughts that plagued him so hurtfully.
It all started simple enough, almost naturally, it seemed to him at the time. After all the long tours of a rock band could be very sexually trying at times, for all its members. They dismissed the idea of actually getting involved with groupies, none of them at all comfortable with the idea, which left them all to find their own ways of finding some relief.
Ken found it by slipping out to bars and parties whenever he got the chance and hooking up with a different girl in every different city, earning himself the well deserved title of a womanizer. It wasn't hard for the guitarist to slip into the role as he'd always been very quick on getting girls and never able to stay with one for long before moving on to another.
Yukki, perhaps, had it the most difficult of them all. He was always the only one of them to be in an actual stable relationship that he was far too devoted to to even consider finding someone else just for relief. His girlfriend (or rather girlfriends as they had changed afew times over the years that Tetsu knew the drummer) usually found time to catch up with them in every other stop of the tour, but Tetsu could imagine that it was hardly often enough.
In comparison, he and Hyde found an easy solution. Since neither of them had any objections about being with a man and Hyde had no qualms about cheating in his marriage of convenience, the comfortable attraction they felt towards one another brought them together for nights of commitment-free sex. Predictably, Hyde was the one who first suggested it, but Tetsu was in no way a stranger to the concept and did not think twice before surrendering his body for their mutual pleasure. It was just two friends helping each other out and it worked well enough for them to bring it out beyond the boundaries of tours and they were soon seeking out each other's company whenever they felt a need for it.
It was just about getting some relief, about getting a casual fuck with no strings attached and they were good enough friends for it to go well. But it soon began going too well - at least for Tetsu.
He didn't know when he first started feeling something more than just lust and friendship towards his vocalist. He did not even remember when he first noticed it and began the useless process of denying it. And he had no need to remember just how long it had been since he first admitted to himself that he had gradually but surely fallen in love with Hyde. All he knew that it had now been long enough for him to start feeling bitter and resentful about the arrangement, long enough for him to start hating the way the singer just casually thanked him after their every encounter before leaving him to lie cold and alone, never staying longer than he absolutely had to.
He knew he should stop it. Only with as many years as it had been going on already, he no longer knew how to do that. And as much as their non-relationship was killing him, he knew he'd much rather have as little as this than nothing at all. At least now, when Hyde kissed him, he could delude himself for a moment that he felt love in the way the singers lips moved against his and his tongue explored his mouth. He could imagine that Hyde gazed at him with adoration and not just lust. And when the singer fucked him against the nearest flat surface, the bassist could sometimes lie to himself that they were making love.
And that was the only thing that made him keep going. His fantasies more than the cruel reality were what made his body start reacting to his thoughts and, fightlessly giving in to the needs of his body, the bassist leaned back against the tiled wall of the bathroom as the water continued running over his body and wrapped his hand around his own arousal, starting to pump himself with a well practiced hand to the thought of things that would never happen and words that he'd never hear, abandoning himself to the world in his mind completely.
But not more than a few strokes in he was violently brought back to reality by the sound of the door to the shower sliding open and his eyes shot open to see that Hyde was now standing in front of him, smirking at having caught him in the act.
"Now this is a wonderful sight to be welcomed with," the singer purred, staring unabashedly at the hand that Tetsu still had wrapped around himself. The vocalist was nude too, having obviously shed his clothes before entering the shower. The younger man had been, of course, far too distracted to hear him and Tetsu cursed himself, not for the first time, for giving the singer the key to his apartment. But at the same time he could not bring himself to truly regret giving the older man this complete access to himself. It had been an obvious extension of their agreement, after all.
"By all means, don't let me stop you," Hyde continued in the meantime, making no move to get closer and just closing the shower door behind himself to keep the water in before getting in a comfortable position for the show he expected to get. Tetsu just sighed inwardly and closed his eyes again, pushing past the embarrassment to start moving his hand again despite the invasive gaze he could feel on him.
This happened too, sometimes, when the singer seemed to be satisfied just by bringing the bassist pleasure, giving him head backstage, or fingering him against the door of a bathroom stall. Other times, he'd guide Tetsu to wank him off in the recording studio's storage room, making no move to get the younger man off after. Fleeting encounters like that made up their twisted relationship and Tetsu had learned to expect them and submit to them without another thought or even considering protesting.
He did not even startle when Hyde finally made a move and stole a deep kiss from his lips while his hands started groping at his ass, spreading his cheeks before rubbing his fingers teasingly over his hole, dipping just the tip of his finger teasingly past the tight ring a few times before sheathing it completely between Tetsu's twitching walls. The bassist groaned into the singer's mouth, the sound swallowed hungrily by the other man. His hand wavered in its pace on his cock a little when he felt another finger slip inside of him, both digits then wiggling deeper until they brushed against something that made him suddenly break the kiss and gasp desperately at the overwhelming pleasure.
Hyde rightfully took that as a sign that he had found what he'd been looking for and started moving his fingers in and out of the bassist, each time pushing against the same spot, fucking the younger man with his fingers at the same rhythm that his friend was moving his own hand. It was a double onslaught of sensations that never failed to push Tetsu towards orgasm in a blinding pace and he came with a shudder and a loud sob, clenching around Hyde's fingers with a force that made the older man gasp as well and wait for a while before even attempting to remove them from inside the spasming bassist.
When he finally did withdraw them, Tetsu was still shaking from his release and barely reacted when Hyde nibbled at his ear before stepping away. But the sound of the shower door sliding open again woke him up from his daze with a start when he realized that Hyde was already satisfied and fully intending to leave. He was overwhelmed with a need to keep the singer here for at least a little bit longer but he knew from painful experience that his invitations to stay would be (unintentionaly) cruelly laughed off and ignored.
Desperate, he absentmindedly turned the water off and followed the vocalist out, ignoring the way they both were dripping all over the floor and just pushed his slightly surprised friend backwards out of the bathroom and into his room until the smaller man was forced to sit down on the bed. A little amused, Hyde opened his mouth to ask Tetsu what he was intending to do, but the bassist answered him by slipping to his knees in front of him before the first word could leave the singer's mouth.
Ignoring how unforgivingly hard the floor was under his knees, he waited until Hyde separated his legs to give him access and then leaned in to swallow the vocalist's sizable erection, starting to suck at it almost aggressively, instantly forcing a pleasured groan out of the sitting man's throat.
After all, he still had this way of making Hyde stay a little longer if everything else was doomed to fail.
Tetsu wondered when he'd find the strength to stop being so damn pathetic. As he let Hyde push himself even deeper down his throat, he promised himself it would be some time soon.
He could not keep living like this for much longer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I want to end it."
It was five days later and Tetsu was pushing Hyde surprisingly decidedly and somberly away when the singer attempted to kiss him in the empty parking lot near their studio. The older man froze and looked at him with a quizzical expression on his face.
"Why? Did you get a girlfriend? We can stop for a while again then," he said smiling after a silent moment, assuming it was just what had happened a couple of times before, but Tetsu was shaking his head before the singer even finished the sentence.
"No girlfriend. I just don't want to do this anymore," the bassist insisted, not letting himself chicken out now that the hardest part - broaching the subject - was over. His heart was beating painfully hard against his ribcage.
"Why?" Hyde asked again and Tetsu fancied himself hearing a note of disappointment in his voice before shrugging it off. Of course Hyde would be disappointed - he was about to lose a very convenient fuck buddy.
"I just don't," he said evasively, turning his gaze away, "I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll find someone else," he smiled bitterly. It was the truth after all. With his looks, Hyde could easily get whomever he could wish, man or woman. Nodding his head in a hurried goodbye, he turned and left the still slightly confused man to stand in the same place while he sat into his car to drive away.
He had no illusions his feelings would be anywhere as easy to leave behind.
What Tetsu did not expect was to feel so relieved after finally breaking the arrangement. He was sure he'd feel horrible and that he'd probably cry himself to sleep for the next few days if not weeks, but none of that happened. He felt strangely numb and unbothered, ready to settle into his normal routine without a slightest glitch.
He had not realized at the time that it was only because his heart had died the instant he turned his back on the man he loved and buried his hope to ever receive the same feelings in return.
Pairings: Hyde x Tetsu
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: p0rn but not entirely without plot
Summary: The concept of "friends with benefits" does work. But only while it stays strictly just that... on both sides.
Part 2 of 3
Tetsu groaned both in relief and to release some of the frustration he felt when he closed the door behind him after returning home. It had been a long day of haggling with sponsors and convincing them that L'Arc~en~Ciel still had it in them to entice more fans and would be certainly worth the money any of the conceitedly skeptical men would invest. In a rare turn of events, he had the companionship of Hyde in today's meetings and the vocalist helped him by adding his own insight and ability to charm to his hard facts and concrete examples. It helped the day become more bearable, but he still felt almost dirty for selling his band and his music so blatantly for profit.
And talking about Hyde and feeling dirty...
Tetsu shook his head. His thoughts returned to the same matter at every single opportunity it got, which was quite a lot, but he had promised to himself not to torture himself with thoughts about it anymore.
Only of course, it was not that easy. The issue ate at his heart as rust ate through metal and not thinking about it was just as painful as thinking about it. Feeling frustration return to him for a different reason now, Tetsu threw his bag to the side and dragged himself towards the bathroom. A shower sounded blissful right about now. But even the pleasant stream of warm water over his body did not distract him from the thoughts that plagued him so hurtfully.
It all started simple enough, almost naturally, it seemed to him at the time. After all the long tours of a rock band could be very sexually trying at times, for all its members. They dismissed the idea of actually getting involved with groupies, none of them at all comfortable with the idea, which left them all to find their own ways of finding some relief.
Ken found it by slipping out to bars and parties whenever he got the chance and hooking up with a different girl in every different city, earning himself the well deserved title of a womanizer. It wasn't hard for the guitarist to slip into the role as he'd always been very quick on getting girls and never able to stay with one for long before moving on to another.
Yukki, perhaps, had it the most difficult of them all. He was always the only one of them to be in an actual stable relationship that he was far too devoted to to even consider finding someone else just for relief. His girlfriend (or rather girlfriends as they had changed afew times over the years that Tetsu knew the drummer) usually found time to catch up with them in every other stop of the tour, but Tetsu could imagine that it was hardly often enough.
In comparison, he and Hyde found an easy solution. Since neither of them had any objections about being with a man and Hyde had no qualms about cheating in his marriage of convenience, the comfortable attraction they felt towards one another brought them together for nights of commitment-free sex. Predictably, Hyde was the one who first suggested it, but Tetsu was in no way a stranger to the concept and did not think twice before surrendering his body for their mutual pleasure. It was just two friends helping each other out and it worked well enough for them to bring it out beyond the boundaries of tours and they were soon seeking out each other's company whenever they felt a need for it.
It was just about getting some relief, about getting a casual fuck with no strings attached and they were good enough friends for it to go well. But it soon began going too well - at least for Tetsu.
He didn't know when he first started feeling something more than just lust and friendship towards his vocalist. He did not even remember when he first noticed it and began the useless process of denying it. And he had no need to remember just how long it had been since he first admitted to himself that he had gradually but surely fallen in love with Hyde. All he knew that it had now been long enough for him to start feeling bitter and resentful about the arrangement, long enough for him to start hating the way the singer just casually thanked him after their every encounter before leaving him to lie cold and alone, never staying longer than he absolutely had to.
He knew he should stop it. Only with as many years as it had been going on already, he no longer knew how to do that. And as much as their non-relationship was killing him, he knew he'd much rather have as little as this than nothing at all. At least now, when Hyde kissed him, he could delude himself for a moment that he felt love in the way the singers lips moved against his and his tongue explored his mouth. He could imagine that Hyde gazed at him with adoration and not just lust. And when the singer fucked him against the nearest flat surface, the bassist could sometimes lie to himself that they were making love.
And that was the only thing that made him keep going. His fantasies more than the cruel reality were what made his body start reacting to his thoughts and, fightlessly giving in to the needs of his body, the bassist leaned back against the tiled wall of the bathroom as the water continued running over his body and wrapped his hand around his own arousal, starting to pump himself with a well practiced hand to the thought of things that would never happen and words that he'd never hear, abandoning himself to the world in his mind completely.
But not more than a few strokes in he was violently brought back to reality by the sound of the door to the shower sliding open and his eyes shot open to see that Hyde was now standing in front of him, smirking at having caught him in the act.
"Now this is a wonderful sight to be welcomed with," the singer purred, staring unabashedly at the hand that Tetsu still had wrapped around himself. The vocalist was nude too, having obviously shed his clothes before entering the shower. The younger man had been, of course, far too distracted to hear him and Tetsu cursed himself, not for the first time, for giving the singer the key to his apartment. But at the same time he could not bring himself to truly regret giving the older man this complete access to himself. It had been an obvious extension of their agreement, after all.
"By all means, don't let me stop you," Hyde continued in the meantime, making no move to get closer and just closing the shower door behind himself to keep the water in before getting in a comfortable position for the show he expected to get. Tetsu just sighed inwardly and closed his eyes again, pushing past the embarrassment to start moving his hand again despite the invasive gaze he could feel on him.
This happened too, sometimes, when the singer seemed to be satisfied just by bringing the bassist pleasure, giving him head backstage, or fingering him against the door of a bathroom stall. Other times, he'd guide Tetsu to wank him off in the recording studio's storage room, making no move to get the younger man off after. Fleeting encounters like that made up their twisted relationship and Tetsu had learned to expect them and submit to them without another thought or even considering protesting.
He did not even startle when Hyde finally made a move and stole a deep kiss from his lips while his hands started groping at his ass, spreading his cheeks before rubbing his fingers teasingly over his hole, dipping just the tip of his finger teasingly past the tight ring a few times before sheathing it completely between Tetsu's twitching walls. The bassist groaned into the singer's mouth, the sound swallowed hungrily by the other man. His hand wavered in its pace on his cock a little when he felt another finger slip inside of him, both digits then wiggling deeper until they brushed against something that made him suddenly break the kiss and gasp desperately at the overwhelming pleasure.
Hyde rightfully took that as a sign that he had found what he'd been looking for and started moving his fingers in and out of the bassist, each time pushing against the same spot, fucking the younger man with his fingers at the same rhythm that his friend was moving his own hand. It was a double onslaught of sensations that never failed to push Tetsu towards orgasm in a blinding pace and he came with a shudder and a loud sob, clenching around Hyde's fingers with a force that made the older man gasp as well and wait for a while before even attempting to remove them from inside the spasming bassist.
When he finally did withdraw them, Tetsu was still shaking from his release and barely reacted when Hyde nibbled at his ear before stepping away. But the sound of the shower door sliding open again woke him up from his daze with a start when he realized that Hyde was already satisfied and fully intending to leave. He was overwhelmed with a need to keep the singer here for at least a little bit longer but he knew from painful experience that his invitations to stay would be (unintentionaly) cruelly laughed off and ignored.
Desperate, he absentmindedly turned the water off and followed the vocalist out, ignoring the way they both were dripping all over the floor and just pushed his slightly surprised friend backwards out of the bathroom and into his room until the smaller man was forced to sit down on the bed. A little amused, Hyde opened his mouth to ask Tetsu what he was intending to do, but the bassist answered him by slipping to his knees in front of him before the first word could leave the singer's mouth.
Ignoring how unforgivingly hard the floor was under his knees, he waited until Hyde separated his legs to give him access and then leaned in to swallow the vocalist's sizable erection, starting to suck at it almost aggressively, instantly forcing a pleasured groan out of the sitting man's throat.
After all, he still had this way of making Hyde stay a little longer if everything else was doomed to fail.
Tetsu wondered when he'd find the strength to stop being so damn pathetic. As he let Hyde push himself even deeper down his throat, he promised himself it would be some time soon.
He could not keep living like this for much longer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I want to end it."
It was five days later and Tetsu was pushing Hyde surprisingly decidedly and somberly away when the singer attempted to kiss him in the empty parking lot near their studio. The older man froze and looked at him with a quizzical expression on his face.
"Why? Did you get a girlfriend? We can stop for a while again then," he said smiling after a silent moment, assuming it was just what had happened a couple of times before, but Tetsu was shaking his head before the singer even finished the sentence.
"No girlfriend. I just don't want to do this anymore," the bassist insisted, not letting himself chicken out now that the hardest part - broaching the subject - was over. His heart was beating painfully hard against his ribcage.
"Why?" Hyde asked again and Tetsu fancied himself hearing a note of disappointment in his voice before shrugging it off. Of course Hyde would be disappointed - he was about to lose a very convenient fuck buddy.
"I just don't," he said evasively, turning his gaze away, "I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll find someone else," he smiled bitterly. It was the truth after all. With his looks, Hyde could easily get whomever he could wish, man or woman. Nodding his head in a hurried goodbye, he turned and left the still slightly confused man to stand in the same place while he sat into his car to drive away.
He had no illusions his feelings would be anywhere as easy to leave behind.
What Tetsu did not expect was to feel so relieved after finally breaking the arrangement. He was sure he'd feel horrible and that he'd probably cry himself to sleep for the next few days if not weeks, but none of that happened. He felt strangely numb and unbothered, ready to settle into his normal routine without a slightest glitch.
He had not realized at the time that it was only because his heart had died the instant he turned his back on the man he loved and buried his hope to ever receive the same feelings in return.
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Date: 2010-07-07 11:33 am (UTC)You are not alone :)Thank you for reading :)