[Arashi] [Sakumiya] Get you through this - Part 1

[radhaj]

Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I disclaim
Warnings: Nothing sexual. But has mentions of a traumatic event. Sho might be slightly OOC sometimes, but it is kind of the point.
Summary: Sho comes back to Japan. It’s up to Nino to make him return fully, however.
Note: I invented a country for this fic :D And made up a generic game title 8D
It is not a very Christmas season-y fic since it definitely lacks cheer, but it is what it is. I hope you guys enjoy! Have a warning though - I wrote the entire thing in two days. That might show.

Get you through this (part 1)

Nino sat, curled up, in one of the armchairs in the airport’s VIP waiting room with his 3DS gripped so tightly in his hands that his knuckles were white. You didn’t even have to know the gamer very well to realize he was only pretending to be playing. Nino wasn’t sure who he was even trying to fool, but at least the feeling of the console in his hands was so familiar that it gave him comfort. Without it, he might have already been sick from the tension.

‘Damn it, Sho-chan,’ he thought inanely, ‘If I get white hair and ruin my image as the “forever-young” one because of this, I will never forgive you!’

Noone was paying attention to Nino anyway. Aiba, pale and unmoving, was staring ahead of himself as he sat in a chair opposite of Nino. The gamer was sure the other idol saw nothing and wasn’t sure if Aiba was even breathing. The normally cheerful man’s eyes were red, with black circles around them, his hair in disarray and asking for a wash. Not that anyone else in the room was in a better state. They all looked like shit.

Both Jun and Satoshi sat with the Sakurai family. Arashi’s youngest member, usually so good and in control during stressful situations, was rendered completely useless this time and looked about as lively as Aiba. And you knew things were serious if their usually silent leader was talking voluntarily – the oldest member of Arashi was muttering some presumably comforting things to Sho’s mother, who sat with a handkerchief pressed against her lips and with her husband’s supportive arm around her. The tears in her eyes were not falling anymore, and she was nodding, gratefully, at whatever words the leader was offering to her.

Nino wished he was as strong as Satoshi, wished he would also be able to give some support to the family. Perhaps to Sho’s brother and sister who were clutching at each other as if for dear life. But Nino was afraid that his crass way of dealing with a crisis wouldn’t be appreciated by anyone. His coping mechanism helped him, but others often found it offensive and in ill-taste and for once in his life Nino let that fact stop him. Nobody wanted to hear him crack improper, sarcastic jokes about the situation while they waited.

‘But this waiting is good,’ Nino reminded himself in his head, ‘He’s coming back. We’re waiting to see him. We’re no longer just holding our breaths to hear if the next piece of news we get is good or bad. He’s coming back.”

There were suddenly some sounds outside the room, coming closer, and every single one of them reacted in unison to turn and stare at the door. Whoever was responsible for the noise was soon just outside of it and there was a brief moment of quiet before the handle turned and the door opened.

Nino didn’t even notice that Sho was accompanied by some officials and staff members when he entered. He just anxiously looked over his friend, trying to take in his condition, notice every detail. But Sho looked fine. Aside from a split bottom lip, there was nothing that Nino could see wrong with him. The man was smiling at them, for fuck’s sake. He looked better than they did, really.

“You guys look absolutely terrible,” were, in fact, the first words Sho uttered. His voice sounded a bit rough, but there was laughter in it, “Did you guys have non-stop all-night parties while I was gone or something?”

There was a second of stillness and then the newly returned idol suddenly had his arms full of his sobbing sister and mother. He hugged them fiercely, rubbing over their backs in an attempt to comfort them, but kept smiling serenely. Nino, however, couldn’t move at all, he just stared.

“I’m fine, really,” he heard Sho reassure everyone soon, “I had the greatest flight back in my life just now. Everyone treated me like I was a king or something. It was great!” he boasted and grinned while the females in the room retreated so the rest of his family and then his band-mates could take turns to embrace him. It said something of Sho’s strength of character that he was the one making light of the situation and comforting them as if there was no big deal, “Really, you guys should cheer up, or I’ll start thinking you’re sad that I came back. Don’t worry, I can go away again if you want, you know,” he said as he released first a teared-up Aiba then Jun from his arms.

“You’re never leaving Japan again, you idiot,” was Ohno’s reaction to that, and although the leader tried to make it out to be a joke, you could actually hear he was choked up in his voice. This finally made Sho get a bit more serious and he grasped his friend’s shoulder in a strong grip as they communicated silently, exchanging understanding looks between them for a few moments.

Then the moment passed and Sho looked around himself, only for his gaze to land on Nino who was still frozen in his armchair, the only one to not greet him yet.

“Nino?” Sho prompted carefully, the small smile still firmly fixed onto his face. Slowly, the younger idol put away his console, stood up and stiffly walked up to his returned friend, before finally reaching out for a more desperate than he would ever admit hug.

“Idiot,” he muttered as he pushed his face against Sho’s chest and his hands bunched up Sho’s shirt at the back, “Welcome home.”

-~*~-

It had been supposed to be a great step forward in Sho’s career as a member of the ZERO team, actually creating a news cover of this level on his own. Even if he technically knew that no one looked down on him for it, Sho had always secretly had a bit of an inferiority complex about becoming a newscaster through his connections as an idol, instead of actual qualifications. He didn’t want people whispering that ZERO simply kept him on as a pretty face to raise their young female viewership. ‘I’ll be a full-fledged journalist, finally!’ he kept joking whenever anyone expressed their concern or brought up the dangerous nature of the issue he had chosen to cover: Japan, with its long-standing Yakuza problem, had recently started working on a joint project with Sothland, where organized crime had recently reached outlandish rates. Both countries were desperate and determined to curb the crime, and planned to share their experience and expertise to develop new strategies together.

Sho didn’t listen to anyone who told him he didn’t need to do this, that he had covered Olympics and had held plenty high-profile interviews and actually had already prepared plenty of his own reports, even if those were on smaller issues. He insisted that he wanted to do it, that this was going to settle it once and for all.

He had done his own research, he outlined a series of reports that were supposed to shed light to the behind-the-scenes of the deal and he had interviewed plenty of high-standing officials. He even managed to get a few anonymous sources in the yakuza itself to get an understanding of inside-reactions to the deal that was being prepared. There was only one thing left to do: go to Sothland and film some footage on the situation there. JE management almost forbade him to do this, considering the threats to people visiting said country recently, but he had somehow managed to convince them to let him go. And so he was off.

They first got the news that he was being held for ransom together with some other tourists. Perhaps, Sho being Sho, he had taken the opportunity to go do a little bit of sight-seeing while in a foreign country despite all the warnings against doing so. Tourist kidnappings were quite frequent in Sothland, one of the most visible indications of the risen crime rates, so it was a known risk.

However, people who knew him doubted that Sho would have been so careless. They actually suspected that he had gone to do some more of his own investigating and got caught up in the mess on accident. The camera operator that had come with him to the country had been none-the-wiser that Sho was gone, and only noticed and notified the authorities when he couldn’t find him in his hotel room next day, before a scheduled meeting with a representative of Sothland’s law-enforcement. That would have been their last interview in the country before their flight back, but obviously only the camera-man made it in time for that.

Regardless, a day later an update came. The kidnappers apparently had realized that it wasn't just any tourist that they had captured this time, and they also somehow found out what Sho was in the country for. Thus they took advantage of the opportunity and demanded that the Japanese and Sothland governments ceased working on the deal. They continued to hold Sho as leverage, threatening to kill him if their demands weren’t met promptly.

Fortunately, two days later it had turned out that these criminals had bitten off more than they could chew. Since they had originally been a relatively “simple”, tourist-kidnapping operation, they hadn’t actually been equipped to successfully commit such a high-profile, political crime. In fact, their effort hurried along the progress of the project they had tried to stop, as Japanese and Sothland law-enforcement structures cooperated to free Sho.

It was later concluded to have been a great success, since they managed to do it so efficiently, with barely any harm coming to the hostages and, even, in a very timely manner.

But for Nino and the rest of Sho’s friends and family, those three days between the news of his kidnapping and him being freed had become the worst and longest days in their lives.

-~*~-

Sho was being irrational.

Despite everyone telling him that he should take it slow for a while, he was already back at the agency the very next morning after returning to Japan, insisting he was ready to dive straight back into work.

“I was away for days, I don’t want the work to pile up any further,” he was saying in front of a group of frustrated agency people and the other Arashi members, “Besides, it would do me good to get back into the rhythm.”

“Sakurai-kun, no one expects you to cover up for your missed work,” a haggard looking manager tried to reason with him, “Your situation was well covered by the media, everybody knows your situation. Your fans only want the best for you, as do we and your friends and family - there is no pressure for you to return to work immediately. We will take care of any missed appearances and appointments.”

But Sho was only shaking his head, looking determined.

“I just want things to go back to normal,” he stated stubbornly and a hush came over the room temporarily in reaction to his allusion to what had happened, making it hang over them like a dark cloud, “And even if the fans are okay with it, I still have a duty to them in return for all their support. Please let me go back to work.”

He bowed very formally then and the agency staff exchanged a few befuddled looks between them, but finally agreed to discuss the matter and make a decision about it while taking Sho’s wishes into account. Then they excused themselves from the room, leaving only the five members behind. Sho turned around, only to see his bandmates all staring at him.

“Hi,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

“Don’t ‘Hi’ us like some awkward anime character,” Nino was the first one to recover and react, “What are you even thinking? Going back to work already? Are you kidding us?”

The gamer sounded incensed, but all of them knew that was just how the sharp-edged man expressed his worry. Still, Sho seemed to shrink back a little at his words so Ohno took over, bringing returning some calm into the conversation.

“Why not go back and stay with your family for a few days, Sho-kun?” he urged gently, “They were so badly worried, do it at least to reassure them that you are truly okay if not for your own sake.”

“But I am okay,” the man insisted, exhaling with irritation and looking around for a chair to plop down on, before continuing, “I’m fine. They didn’t treat me that ba… Look, it could have been much worse. As it is, I got away with a few bruises and a split lip,” he tried to brush it off, but the reaction he got was the opposite of what he had tried to achieve.

“They beat you?” Aiba asked in a strangled-sounding voice. Nino, suddenly feeling sick himself, also had the right timing to witness as all blood seemed to drain completely from Jun’s face. Sho bit on the uninjured side of his lip and looked to the side.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” he requested quietly, “They wanted to know what I found out while investigating the deal and got upset when I didn’t tell them anything they thought they could make use of. I don’t know what they expected to hear, really. Did they think I was hiding some magical information that they could then take over the world with? It’s like they-“ he suddenly cut himself off and rubbed over his face with his hands, “I told all of this to the officials, I honestly don’t want to talk about it again,” he mumbled into his palms. The leader stood up and crossed the distance between them to sit down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“You don’t need to tell us if you don’t want to,” he soothed, “We are just worried for you, you understand that, don’t you?”

Sho nodded, still not lifting his head.

-~*~-

When Nino entered the green room the next morning, he was greeted by a very unusual sight. Ohno was already there and seemed to be pouring over some documents he was holding.

“Ah, Nino,” the leader greeted when he noticed his arrival. Not for the first time, Nino noted just how tired the other man looked. He actually seemed his age for once. But he had been taking his duties as the leader very seriously through the situation. He shouldered a huge amount of the stress and handled most of the public statements in the name of the band, showing a side of himself he rarely did before, “The management just handed this over to me this morning,” he lifted the papers in his hands to indicate them, “It’s uhh… a list of recommendations from the psychiatrist that the agency made Sho-kun visit yesterday as a condition for him to return to work.”

Nino frowned, feeling indignant on Sho’s behalf.

“Should he be sharing that with anyone? Isn’t it confidential?” he asked, but he was already walking over and started looking through the text over Ohno’s shoulder.

“It’s not really about his personal experience or what he said, it’s about what we should know,” the leader explained patiently, “The psychiatrist made some sort of risk assessment of how likely Sho-kun is to experience serious mental consequences, like PTSD, but it was… inconclusive. Not surprising, really. But apparently doctors think that further therapy and attempts at psychological treatment can be more harmful than anything else in some cases, so the psychiatrist decided it would be better if the people who are actually close to him and know him kept an eye on him. The recommendations themselves are really just a bunch of stuff that is common sense after trauma, however. We don’t need to be told any of that,” he said, as he handed the papers over to Nino altogether.

Without taking his eyes off the list, Nino moved over to his regular seat on the couch and read through them. Ohno was right, it was all common sense. Be there for the person, but don’t be pushy. Be alert if the person tries to withdraw from people. Note lapses in concentration, especially if they were uncharacteristic before. Observe for sleeping problems.

Nino had problems sleeping after what happened. He had no doubt Sho would as well. He had been kidnapped for three days, for fuck’s sake.

“This is completely useless,” he groaned, throwing his head back and closing his eyes with a sigh. He knew he couldn’t expect anyone to offer them a magical solution of how to help Sho recover in a blink, but he had really hoped that there would be at least something useful.

“Nino,” he was suddenly startled from his thoughts by Ohno’s uncharacteristically earnest voice. The younger immediately sat up straight again and indicated for the leader to continue, “Can I trust Sho-kun over to you?”

For a moment, Nino thought he misheard.

“What?” he croaked, not understanding.

“You’re strong,” Ohno elaborated, matter-of-factly, making Nino blink in surprise, “You truly are, emotionally. Stronger than Jun-kun and Aiba-chan when it comes to things like this. Those two need someone to take care of them, they were affected really badly by this. I can do it for them, but then I won’t be able to take proper care of Sho-kun as well. That’s why I need you to take over. To get him through this.”

For a couple more seconds, Nino just stared, his heartbeat weirdly loud in his ears. Him, take care of Sho? He had been completely useless so far, couldn’t Ohno see that? How could leader even think of trusting someone like Nino with that responsibility?

Seeing that Nino was unable to answer, Ohno continued.

“He is determined to pretend that everything is fine. That it didn’t really affect him. But we all know it will all slam down on him sooner or later,” he spoke further, “One of us has to be ready for it, prepared to be his safety net when the time comes, to support him through the worst moments. It can’t be his family, I’m sorry to say. They love him dearly, but we all know that for years, we have known each other better than our families and we are in a better position to be close when needed. And he refuses to go stay with them anyway. It has to be you, Nino. You are the best choice for Sho-kun.”

Nino scrunched his eyes closed against the headache he could feel approaching.

“Leader, do you even hear yourself?” he asked sharply, “You’re asking a brat and an asshole to do what? My way of handling emotions is to make sarcastic remarks and insult everyone around me until I forget about what is actually bothering me. That's not emotional strength, that is a talent in avoidance. I can’t be trusted with a house plant, much less a delicate human psyche after a crisis! Do you want me to help Sho-chan by mocking him and fooling around when the situation is so serious? It will just screw things up further.”

“And yet, that is the sort of behavior that has always made Sho most relaxed and happy around you before, so why would you think he wouldn’t appreciate it now too?” Ohno asked, unwavering in his conviction that he was making the right call, “You are his best friend, Kazu.”

“We’re all best friends, Oh-chan,” Nino shot back, wryly.

“Yes. But you are Sho-kun’s best friend,” Ohno repeated, as if saying it again would somehow make it mean something else. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, he added, “You love him, Nino.”

Nino’s heart thumped almost painfully against his ribcage at the words. He swallowed and opened his mouth to say something back only to close it again. Then he took a few even breaths and tried again.

“We all love him,” he stated, his voice barely audible. But despite that, he pulled his bag closer to himself and carelessly shoved the sheets with the recommendations into it. He didn’t say anything else, but the action spoke loudly enough. Ohno nodded to himself, satisfied that Nino had accepted his request.

As soon as the papers were shoved in, Nino got his console out. But he didn’t even open it, just staring at it in his hands.

Of course he loved Sho. How could he not? They were all members of the same band, having spent more time with each other than anyone else in their lives. Not even families could compare to the bond they shared. They all loved each other.

But if there was a reason why Ohno brought it up now, in this context, specifically about Nino’s love for Sho, then Nino had that reason shoved somewhere to the very back of his mind and refused to acknowledge that it existed.

“I have to trust Leader,” he told himself, “If he says that I am the best for the job, then it must be true. I’ll just have to do my best and stop being so useless.”

“Should we hide the papers?” Ohno unexpectedly spoke up again, startling Nino. The younger idol glanced at the end of the table where a stack of newspapers had been delivered, as usual. On a normal day, Sho would start going through them as soon as he came in, catching up on all the latest news and reading small excerpts that he thought others would be interested in aloud. Today, same as for the whole last week or so, the front pages were all dominated by Sho’s kidnapping story. It was the hottest topic around, and no paper was going to miss cashing in on it.

“No,” Nino answered after a moment of consideration, “It’s not like he doesn’t know they must be writing about it. And if he comes in and finds the papers missing, he will know we hid them to ‘protect’ him. He won’t appreciate us coddling him,” he explained, and Ohno nodded in acceptance of his reasoning. Apparently, he really meant to leave all decisions pertaining to Sho up to Nino now.

After that small exchange, to distract himself and pass the time, Nino started playing after all. But it was only ten minutes later that the door to the green-room opened again, and it was Sho who stepped in.

They all greeted each other as casually as ever, but Nino tensed up, now feeling incredibly aware of the newspapers. Maybe they should have hidden them after all. How would Sho even react to seeing all those headlines? Nino should have at least checked for himself if there was anything particularly bad…

But to his surprise, Sho didn’t as much as glance at the newspaper stack. Instead, he nonchalantly walked over to Nino, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.

“I’ve brought you coffee,” the man stated, as he put down the can that Nino hadn’t noticed he had held in his hands on the table in front of them, “What are you playing? Is it any good?” he asked as he settled down right at the smaller man’s side, their shoulders touching.

Nino held back from looking up at the other to stare or otherwise betraying how taken aback he was. Sho never inquired about Nino’s games. The coffee wasn’t half as unusual, as everyone knew that Nino was the biggest caffeine addict of them all and Sho liked to spoil him sometimes. But Sho never bothered Nino when he was playing, unless it was something important. He never showed casual interest in specifics of his games. Regardless, Nino tried to answer as if nothing was out of order.

“It’s an RPG, Fantasy Heroes II. Do you wanna watch? I have a couple other games if you’d rather watch me play those,” he offered carefully.

“Nah, this one is fine,” was Sho’s immediate reassurance, his eyes already fixed on the colorful display.

“Okay then,” Nino brushed off any weirdness he felt about this and shifted so he was leaning against Sho’s chest and the other could have a better view of the screens, “Be prepared to be awed by my prowess.”

-~*~-

It wasn’t anything big, but there were many details that came up which were clearly different.

Sho ignored the newspapers. Sho turned away and tuned out a news program that came on a nearby TV that spoke about his fortunate return. Sho spaced out during lunch, and didn’t eat his whole portion even after Jun had carefully drawn him back out from his thoughts. Sho frowned when Aiba quietly proposed they went out for a drink to re-bond with each other at the end of the day.

“To a bar?” he asked, strangely.

“That’s where the drinks are most readily available, Sho-chan,” Nino drawled out, trying to be his usual smart-ass self since no one else was apparently able to act quite normal anymore. The more time passed, the more worried he actually became, but Ohno’s words about how normal Nino was what Sho might appreciate the most kept him tightly in control of his actions.

“How about we drink at one of our homes, instead? It would be quieter. And more private. I don’t think I want to risk anyone recognizing us tonight,” Sho suggested, in the same nonchalant tone that he had used all through the day whenever he did something not quite the same as he would have before, “You can all come to my place? Someone just needs to drive by the shop then, however, as I have no alcohol or snacks at home.”

Of course, no one was going to argue against this if it was Sho’s wish, and it didn’t take them long to come up with a plan, since Jun readily agreed to take care both of driving Ohno over and buying whatever they would need on the way.

Drinking together seemed like it turned out to be a good idea. They all managed to relax and Nino noticed Sho looking relieved when, as the evening went on, Jun and Aiba stopped acting so much as if on eggshells around him. Whether it was the influence of the alcohol or just them realizing Sho wouldn’t freak out if they acted ordinarily, he didn’t know, but he felt relieved because of it too.

It was Ohno, of course, that insisted at the end of the evening that Nino was too drunk to go home anymore, so he better stayed the night. Nino, who actually had barely drunk at all, glared at him but played along as he realized what the Leader was doing. Aiba, Jun and the Ohno then all stumbled out of the apartment together into a taxi that they had called, while a noticeably tipsy Sho prepared the couch for Nino to bunk on.

Honestly, Nino was not surprised in the slightest to be woken up in the middle of the night by noise that was coming from his host’s bedroom. Instantly awake, he rushed towards the commotion and, in the darkness of the room, could still clearly see Sho thrashing on his bed, distressed sounds escaping his lips.

“Sho-chan,” Nino called out as soon as he reached his friend’s side, “Sho-chan, wake up! It’s just a dream, you’re safe, it’s just a dream,” he comforted as he tried to gently shake the other awake. Sho’s reaction to his touch was immediate, but not the one that the younger man had hoped for. The other idol’s eyes suddenly snapped open with a loud gasp and he scrambled away from Nino, whimpering and obviously disoriented and confused about where he was, probably hearing nothing of what his friend was saying.

Nino swore under his breath and realized that the darkness probably wasn’t helping Sho return to reality, so he made a dash for the light switch. Only one of the three bulbs of the overhead lamp lit up, however, and Nino cursed again but figured the twilight would have to do as he quickly returned to Sho’s side.

“Sho-chan,” he muttered gently, gingerly reaching out to put one hand over Sho’s, hoping to ground the other in reality, “It’s me Nino. Look at me. Please, Sho-chan. Everything is going to be okay, you’re safe…”

Slowly but surely, focus started to return to the older man’s eyes. His breathing normalized, and the wild, panicked expression melted away as Sho seemed to recognize his surroundings.

“Nino?” he asked in a small voice and Nino smiled, lifting his other hand to brush away some hair from Sho’s clammy and sweaty forehead.

“It’s me. It’s okay, you’re safe,” he repeated again and that finally seemed to make Sho recover completely. He frowned as he looked around himself.

“I’m sorry, I woke you up, didn’t I?” he asked then, looking guilty suddenly, but Nino just squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“It’s fine. I like being woken in the middle of the night. It gives me the opportunity to enjoy the fact that I can go right back to sleep instead of getting up already,” Nino stated with a serious look on his face, and Sho snorted, though his smile at Nino’s dumb words was half-hearted at best.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated again, “It just… I was back there for a moment. It was dark, I couldn’t move with the blanket restricting me, my throat was parched…”

Nino swallowed with a bit of a difficulty. If Sho was listing the things that reminded him of his captivity then…

“Did they… did they not let you drink?” he asked very carefully.

“They did!” Sho reassured him instantly, “They did. Maybe… maybe not very much, but they did give me water.”

Nino knew Sho well enough to know from his tone that there was a “but” at the end of that statement. Not sure if he should pry, but at the same time needing to know, he asked another question.

“Did they give you food?”

Sho visibly flinched, pulling his hand away from Nino’s, and averted his eyes, as if he was somehow guilty of something.

“It doesn’t matter. It was just three days,” he said quietly.

“They starved you?”

“It doesn’t matter!” Sho erupted suddenly, but immediately looked startled and apologetic by his own outburst, “It… it was just three days. I am fine,” he insisted, almost pleading Nino to let it go.

“It’s okay, Sho-chan,” Nino spoke softly again, forcing a small smile onto his face, “Thank you for telling me.”

Sho had withdrawn from him, curling up with his head pressed against the headboard of his bed, and Nino didn’t like this. He couldn’t allow Sho to start distancing himself, so he got onto the bed and gently, but insistently, reached for the other’s hand again, this time grasping it tightly and intertwining their fingers. To his relief, Sho didn’t pull away and actually squeezed his hand a little as they sat in silence for a few long minutes, with Nino waiting for Sho’s breathing to even out again.

“You must think I am pathetic. I’m reacting so badly even though nothing really happened,” the older idol chuckled self-deprecatingly after a while.

“Of course I think you are pathetic,” Nino agreed in a heartbeat, with no hesitation, “When have I ever thought differently? Pathetic little Sho-chan is so afraid of heights, he can’t climb a chair to change the damned light-bulbs in his own room,” he said, making Sho flush in shame immediately, “Silly Sho-chan thinks his best friends won’t see right through him when he continuously downplays the harshness of his experience. Stupid Sho thinks being kidnapped and beaten and starved for three days is nothing and that being affected by it somehow makes him ‘weak’.”

‘Leader, you better be damn right about Sho appreciating my way of communicating,” Nino sent a thought towards Ohno, as he waited for Sho to react to his sharp-edged rant, ‘Because if you were wrong, I might have just fucked everything really badly.”

But he needn’t have worried. Sho didn’t withdraw again. In fact, he smiled and it almost seemed to reach his eyes this time.

“Thank you,” he said, giving Nino’s hand another squeeze, “We should go back to sleep,” he mentioned then and Nino nodded in agreement. But neither of them moved.

“Do you think…” Sho wavered, “The couch isn’t very comfortable and my bed is huge, you know. I… I’d appreciate having someone beside me. They always left me alone during the night. If someone stayed beside me, it would make it easier for me to remember I’m no longer there…”

He trailed off, obviously uncomfortable. And Nino’s automatic response was to fake a thoughtful expression.

“Well… I’m sure tomorrow we can convince Ma-kun to let you borrow one of his pets for a while…” he trailed off, and let out a happy giggle when Sho actually lightly punched him on the shoulder for his effort, “Fine, fine,” he gave up all pretense, “Let’s sleep, Sho-yan,” he urged, conveniently forgetting to turn off the light before curling up under the blanket beside his friend.

They never let go each other’s hands that night.

-~*~-

‘You would think,” Nino thought in frustration, “That getting Sho to open up and confide more details to me yesterday would mean we made quite a lot of progress.”

Little could he have known, it had been only the beginning. Sho had closed right back up again after the night. Or at least that’s what it seemed like when they argued over the breakfast table the next morning.

“You can’t afford to lose sleep every night just because I am having a few bad dreams,” Sho was saying resolutely to him, letting his cereal continue turning soggy in the bowl before him instead of eating it.

“Sho-chan, what I really can’t afford is to let my dearest friend go through this alone,” Nino insisted, not budging either and crossing his arms in front of his chest as a sign that he would not back down until Sho agreed to his suggestion. The older idol obviously shouldn’t be left alone so soon, and the obvious solution was for him to stay with someone for a while. And Nino was determined that it would be with him.

“I can’t move in with you, temporarily or not,” Sho repeated stubbornly, and Nino actually rolled his eyes.

“Well, and I can’t move in with you, because all my consoles are back in my apartment and it would be a pain to move them,” he drawled out dryly.

Sho shot him a look that said he was not amused by Nino’s attempt. The younger, however, let out a sigh and just stared back at him.

And stared.

And stared.

As expected, Sho was the first to break down.

“I don’t want to be a bother to any of you guys,” he whined pathetically.

“Good,” Nino said seriously, “That means you won't bother us by making us all worried and will actually come live with me for a while.”

Sho simply had no choice after Nino put it like that.

If he was completely honest to himself, Nino didn’t like the idea of sharing his personal space with someone else. Everyone knew he was a private, antisocial sort of person. He disliked getting visitors - even the other members of Arashi didn’t come by much if it wasn’t important, and he liked them. Living with someone? If it were anyone else but Sho, Nino would have said it was simply impossible, no matter how necessary it was. No matter how much the person needed it and he would have wanted to help them.

Ohno would fall asleep on his gaming couch and expect Nino to cook for him. And then try to play his piano with fatty fingers after eating. Jun would get on his nerves constantly with his perfectionist ways and complain about how untidy his apartment was. Aiba would expect them to do things together, stealing into Nino's time for himself, and actually make the mess even worse. And he kicked in his sleep.

Sho, however, turned out to be even easier to put up with than Nino thought he would be. He wasn’t a tidy person by no means, but he was far too polite to make a mess in someone else’s place. And he definitely didn’t judge Nino for the pile of laundry that was beside the laundry basket in the bathroom. He played the piano himself, and thus knew to treat all of Nino's instruments with respect if he came near them at all.

Sho didn’t intrude on Nino’s half of the bed when they slept, and Nino could easily ignore the snoring. They had similar schedules (because despite what everyone thought, Sho wasn’t the only one with a ridiculous load of work and crazy few sleeping hours), so they didn’t wake each other up at wrong times.  But Sho showered in the evening, while Nino played, and the gamer himself preferred to take his showers in the morning, so no conflict arose from bathroom-occupation times either.

Sometimes, if he didn’t have scripts to read through or any research to do, Sho would join Nino on the gaming couch after his shower and watch him play, but never interfered or demanded attention by it. Sometimes, Nino even handed him the second controller. Sho wasn’t the most skilled player 2, but he was better than an AI.

Nino was reminded of their junior days for some reason. The conversations in bed that sometimes lasted long into the night, the gaming sessions, fooling around and teasing each other whenever they saw an opportunity. It was like the two of them were back to being teenagers, stuck in a perpetual sleep-over.

Sometimes, Sho still woke up sweaty and gasping for air during the night. Sometimes, he would turn off the TV when news came on. Sometimes, he completely spaced out with a controller in his hands, his character no longer moving on the screen. Nino was always there, ready to pretend he hadn’t even noticed or offer comfort, depending on the situation.

Thus even after a couple of weeks had passed, neither of them even thought to bring up the possibility of Sho moving back out.

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Note2: Had to separate this into two parts because the post was too large for LJ. Part 2 can be found here