[Arashi] [Sakumiya] Her Silver Lining

[radhaj]

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Those people are not mine. Damn.
Warnings: Transgender character. Sexy stuffs later on. Nothing super kinky this time. Maybe
Summary: The job might not be the most prestigious and by far not something she had envisioned herself doing to support herself at this point of her life. But perhaps this whole thing was exactly what she needed to finally feel confident in who she was.
Note: I actually planned to post this on the 25th, but then figured meh, most people will be too busy to care about fics on that day. So here you guys go, an early Christmas present?


Epilogue

It took quite a bit more time spent snuggling up to Nino's reassuring chest and a re-heated mug of cocoa until all the high-strung emotions finally settled down, Shouko managed to digest all that had happened and figured out what she felt about it.

Now she finally felt relaxed. Happy, in fact. She was slightly reclined against her boyfriend, who apparently loved her, and who was currently playing with a few strands of her hair that, during this whole mess, had escaped her previously carefully tied braid. It was calming. But it was also...

“It's late,” Nino finally cut the silence in a regretful tone, “You've had a long and trying day and you have lectures tomorrow, don't you? You should go sleep. It's time I went home.”

He was right but, surprisingly, she felt far too awake to be able to sleep after all the excitement and drama of the day. And besides...

“Your day was no less tiring,” she pointed out, trying not to let a blush rise to her cheeks and dye them pink as she thought about how what she was about to say could be taken, ”It's dark and... you shouldn't be driving anymore in this state. Stay?” her voice, thankfully, didn't break as she suggested it, but her fight against the blush was doomed to fail when Nino reacted by raising his eyebrow and allowing a smirk turn the corners of his lips upwards, “I just mean-”

“I know, Choco-chan,” he interrupted her, chuckling lightly, “Don't worry, I'm not imagining anything naughty,” he poked his tongue out at her before adding, just as cheekily, “Unless you actually are.”

Shouko made use of her plush lips by pouting indignantly as she reached out to mock-hit him on the arm for it and then sat up, only to turn and look at him, suddenly feeling a bit playful herself as the previous sadness and despair got replaced by a weird giddiness.

“And if I am?” she asked, surprising him and making him grin and get closer to her again.

“Then for an occasion like that, maybe I really should stay. Even if your bed is not quite as great as mine,” he said, and she was so distracted by looking at his lips after the had caught her attention by smirking, that it took her half a second more than usual to react.

“What? When did you ever see my-”

She didn't finish, because the lips that she had just been admiring were suddenly pressed against hers and kissing honestly seemed far more important than figuring out if he had really somehow managed to sneak a peek of her bedroom without her knowledge. She had a fleeting thought that they really should do this more often, seeing as she could still count the kisses they had shared on the fingers of one hand. But his mouth already felt like home to her regardless, welcoming her, making her feel wanted and worshiped from the way he moved his tongue against her almost reverently. His steadying grip on her waist feeling strong and desperate like the only just-over possibility of her leaving him had affected him more than he had shown.

Without consciously even thinking about it, she moved more towards him, almost climbing onto his lap and letting her arms rest behind his neck in a loose embrace as she got more into the passionate exchange. But then the loose strands of her hair that Nino had been playing with earlier chose the moment to fall annoyingly onto her face, tickling both of their cheeks and distracting them enough that they just had to separate. Shouko glared at the offending strands as well as she could until Nino raised a hand and playfully tugged on one, making her giggle and lean away so she could just undo the whole hairdo completely.

“Now you even taste like a Choco-chan,” he commented happily as he watched her work on freeing her hair, obviously referring to the taste of hot cocoa that lingered in her mouth.

“Then you must be Choco-chan too since you taste the same as me,” she pointed out smartly, since he had enjoyed the same beverage as her. However, this time he didn't have a sharp response at the ready for once. Instead, when Shouko lifted her eyes to check on her suddenly silent boyfriend, she found him staring at her fascinatedly. It took her a moment to realize he was mesmerized by her hair which she had been threading her fingers through so they'd fall over her shoulders properly now. She froze once she noticed this, however.

“So beautiful,” he whispered once he realized he had been caught admiring her and reached out to curiously stroke her hair with his own fingers. Shouko trembled, the motion feeling unexpectedly intimate and making her feel weirdly exposed. But it wasn't unpleasant, especially when he leaned in and let his lips slide along her hairline, pressing butterfly kisses to the side of her face and tucking her hair behind her ear as he did so. She tilted her head into it, feeling her pulse quicken rapidly and he had to notice this too when he slid lower, mouthing, gently, at her neck. It was then that she recognized that there was no use skirting around it.

“Let's...” she gasped, breathlessly, startling herself as she hadn't realized she was already so affected, “Let's go to the bedroom?”

Although she wasn't really sure about what this would lead to, re-situating to the bed seemed like a good idea considering how things were progressing and she expected Nino to jump on the suggestion. But he simply brushed his lips just above her collarbone one more time and then looked up at her seriously

“If you're sure?” he asked gently, “I really was just being silly, so in case you think I'm expecting something...” he trailed of, making sure she knew there was no pressure. But she shook her head at his misplaced worries.

“I know,” she answered shyly, “But I think I had the sort of day that... perhaps I should get distracted from?” she smiled, batting her eyelashes in a hopefully flirty manner. Nino had to blink himself a few times before he understood the reference, but then he grinned.

“That I can definitely do,” he promised, pecking her on the lips once before standing and offering a hand to help her up too. She accepted, thankful, as she was feeling shaky for a lot of different reasons, and they made for the bedroom.

Nino stepped over the piles of books littering the floor and went around the discarded clothes and other items without commenting on the mess at all, fortunately, sparing her from embarrassment. Shouko was just grateful that she had, by coincidence, decided to change her sheets that morning. Or well, it hadn't really been a coincidence – she had just been trying to find ways of putting off leaving for work a bit longer, knowing what was waiting for her there. In any case, it was nice to not have to take care of that before they could slither onto the bed and into each others embrace.

It didn't take long for them to resume where they had left off. Frantic kisses soon led to hands wandering over bodies and it was the first time Shouko actually allowed herself to do it to Nino, to slip her tentative hands under his shirt and explore the contours of his skin. That shirt was the first to go off, but apparently Nino only felt it was fair that her blouse went next. It was just through sheer willpower that she managed to convince herself this wasn't worth blushing about as this was nothing he hadn't seen before. Not to mention she truly had nothing to feel insecure about in this area.

To her slight surprise, however, he didn't go for the obvious. His lips fluttered over her flat stomach, leaving no millimeter untouched as his hands caressed her sensitive sides, making her breath hitch and moans start forming in her throat. It was when he was back up, sucking gently at her pulse, and let his fingers start working on unzipping and unbuttoning her jeans that she started feeling a bit uncomfortable and had to stop him by softly pushing her palms against his chest. He reacted immediately, backing away a bit.

“Is it too much?” he asked worriedly and she felt warmed by the fact that he was ready to stop right then and there without half a complaint if she were to ask him to, even though he was obviously very much into it. Fortunately, she shook her head.

“No, I just need to... I mean...” she flushed brightly suddenly averting her eyes, “Just give me a moment,” she requested, hoping she wasn't ruining the mood too much when she shifted from under him and turned away, reaching into her own pants embarrassedly, “Don't... don't look,” she whispered, throwing a glance over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't staring before slipping her hand inside her clothes, to her crotch, and awkwardly untucking herself, knowing she would not be able to avoid it much longer and sighing in relief quietly once it was done. Her face still burning, she then returned to her previous spot, only to be welcomed by her boyfriend's questioning gaze. She bit her lip and took him by the shoulders, guiding him back over her and trying to avoid answering.

“Just had to take care of something,” she mumbled evasively and he must have understood that he shouldn't push the subject anymore since he nodded and returned to necking her sensuously, his fingers dancing over the band of her bra for a bit before moving downwards with the intention to move on from where they had stopped. But once those fingers reached their goal and pressed down, he momentarily paused.

“Oh...” he let out, apparently finally realizing what the short interlude had been all about. She froze, wincing, fully expecting him to act repulsed and disgusted by what he was touching. It was no longer just an abstract understanding in the back of his mind, after all. Most likely now that he was confronted with it directly, he would realize she was not for him after all...

But the only thing she could see once she fearfully locked eyes with him were his dilated from arousal pupils.

“I see this is definitely heading somewhere good, what with you being so excited already,” he whispered sultrily, starting to rub the small but very noticeable bulge under his palm through her honeydew-colored panties. She gasped, a small moan escaping her finally despite her best efforts to keep quiet. But he just continued for a while, letting her squirm and drinking in her every reaction hungrily.

“Look at that,” he added just as silkily as before once his efforts produced a wet spot in the front of her panties, “I'm getting you quite wet, am I not?”

She giggled at his silliness, her chest suddenly feeling lighter than ever, even with a damned bra still constricting it. He looked a bit bewildered by her sudden mirth, however.

“Should I not... uhm...” suddenly he was not able to find appropriate words but she took pity on him immediately.

“It's okay,” she reassured him, still smiling brightly, “I appreciate it if you try to talk as if I'm... well, you know. It makes me happy when you think of it and make the effort. But you don't need to be so careful either. I am well aware of what I have between my legs,” she pointed out, stretching upwards to peck him on the cheek, “I'm okay with it. This is who I am, and you accepting the entirety of it is all I could ever wish for. However, just for the record,” she added, twisting a little so she could get the drawer of her nightstand open and, after a bit of blind fumbling, managing to find what she was looking for. She then presented it to Nino with a cheeky smile, “This is what makes me really wet and bothered,” she said in her best imitation of an erotic porn-star voice. He stared at the bottle of lube dumbly for a whole second, before rolling his eyes and taking it from her, only to put it on the side for now.

“Smartass,” he poked his tongue out. She giggled and Nino dove onto her swearing revenge for her mocking him. Shouko squealed when the man who loved her pressed his face between her boobs and blew air against the heated skin, tickling her and making stupid noises and they ended up rolling on the bed idiotically for a while, groping each other and laughing like children until they tired themselves out and collapsed in a breathless heap. A few seconds passed with the only sound in the room being their harsh breathing, and then Nino looked at her with an abrupt intensity.

“Distracted?” he asked, and she nodded, letting out another open-mouthed laugh.

“Perfectly.”

He seemed more than satisfied with the answer, leaning in to kiss her deeply now that they had somewhat calmed down. Their previous mood had obviously been broken by now, but it didn't take them long to get back on the right track, what with their tongues battling inside their mouths in the most gentle and drawn-out fight ever. At long last, she felt his hands sneaking around her to unclasp her bra and she took the opportunity to somehow kick off her jeans and underwear (which have already managed to get down to her knees during their chaotic tumbling around the bed earlier) without the help of her hands, all while not separating even for breathing.

It was only when Nino finally managed with his task and her supple breasts were free to spill out from the prison of the bra that they finally let each other go. Nino sat up, straddling her hips so he could slide the straps of the bra off her arms and throw it to the side. Then he took a moment to simply admire her, splayed out before him, now completely naked. She couldn't help but feel self-conscious about it, but he stroked her sides with ghost-like touches and whispered heartfelt compliments that made her relax.

“I think it's rather unfair that you still have your pants on,” she pointed out after the moment had become unbearably long for her and, luckily, that was enough to get Nino to move again. He made a quick job of taking off his own pants and underwear, only to realize that the bottle of lube had fallen off somewhere during their mock-fight earlier. As he leaned over the edge to search for it on the floor, Shouko had a great chance to admire his cute, bare ass. And then again when he inquired about condoms and she directed him to the same drawer of the nightstand. He raised an eyebrow at her very pleased expression once he had turned back to her, but she just waved him off.

Despite being ready now, they still weren't in any rush. They went back to exploring each other instead and Nino finally gave her round, soft breasts the attention they deserved, lathering them with licks and kisses and pinching her small, perky nipples until they were a little sore and she was mewling at him to stop because the heat coiling between her legs was becoming unbearable.

Of course, he noticed that too. But once he started sliding down her body, getting closer and closer to the hardness between her legs, she had to stop him one more time.

“Don't,” she whispered, embarrassed. As silly as that sounded, she was not ready for that and she couldn't imagine he would enjoy it anyway, “You don't have to... and, I'd rather you didn't,” she pleaded him to understand. And as always, he did.

“Okay, Shouko-chan,” he listened immediately and raised himself back up where he made her sigh as he brushed his lips over her eyelids that instinctively had fluttered closed, “Are you ready, then?”

She couldn't answer with more than just a tiny nod, her heart seemingly trying to slam out of her ribcage from all the excitement and nervousness she was feeling now that the moment had come. But he was gentle, so gentle. Shushing her, comforting her with a continuous murmur of sweet nothings whenever it seemed like she would tense up too much. He opened the bottle of lube quickly and guided her to spread her legs wide enough with his hands before starting to prepare her. And because she trusted him completely, it didn't feel nearly as bad as she had feared. His short fingers were patient and nimble as they moved, slipping into her one by one and gradually opening her up, playing her body as skillfully as he did one of his musical instruments, making her feel good just from that much already.

“Does it still feel like much, or did you get used to it already,” he asked her, moving three fingers in and out of her without much trouble anymore, spreading them out sometimes to loosen her more.

“I... I'm ready,” she whimpered, her need overwhelmingly strong and apparent by then, “I want you... Kazunari. Please,” she urged him passionately, using his name for the first time because it felt so right in that moment. He froze, his head snapping upwards to stare at her, but then he seemed to fill with such incredible happiness that she realized she should have done this much earlier.

“Understood,” he said, his eyes shining with love. Carefully, he withdrew his fingers and got a condom out of its wrapper and onto his considerable length with practiced each. If there was one thing that still intimidated her, it was his size. But once he shifted into place and he could feel him nudging at her entrance, even that didn't matter anymore.

Their eyes locked, and it just hit her. That this was the most perfect moment. And that he was the most perfect man. Even now, waiting for her to nod one more time, to give him a sign that she was really okay with this because he would never just assume it of her, never require this of her.

This was the best time. She gathered what little strength she still had into her trembling body and kissed him as hard as she could before collapsing back again.

“I love you,” she whispered her own confession to him. His eyes widened for a fraction of a moment but then he caught himself.

“Of course you do,” he announced pompously, “Who could ever resist me?”

“Idiot,” she mumbled grouchily, but then looked up and gave a small nod.

-*-

It wasn't even a full month since they met, she realized as she followed her lover's lazy movements in the room as he took care of cleaning them up and discarding the used condom and tissues so they could sleep comfortably.

That was a pretty damn short time for her life to turn upside down. But really, she thought to herself petulantly. she deserved it. It was about time her luck finally turned for the better after years and years of living alone and miserable and facing one challenge or blow of life after another.

As he lied down beside her, slipping under the blanket himself and sighed in contentment, she decided she would not question it. She would not doubt it. Someone out there must have though she deserved Nino in her life, and she would forever be grateful for that. For her silver lining that had grown until he became the sun itself.

In the end, there was only one thing that still continued to bother her now. She turned, careful to keep the blanket up to her neck, covering her naked figure, and pressed a kiss to the back of her boyfriend's neck once she could reach it.

“Mm?” Nino inquired sleepily, recognizing it as a request of attention. Shouko shifted a little more, draping herself over his back in a way that made her breasts squish against his back, but she couldn't possibly feel self-conscious about that after what had just happened. Instead, she nuzzled her nose into the hair behind her lover's ear.

“I'm hungry,” she whispered finally.

Kazunari groaned.

Note #2:

So this is the end of Her Silver Lining. I hope you guys will be satisfied with the way it ended. Personally, I'm more proud with myself for finishing it and for the WAY I finished it than I had expected to be. Hopefully, it wraps things up nicely enough that the wait for the sequel won't be too bad. When/If the sequel comes. Hopefully it WILL, but you know. I don't wanna make promises, just in case.

AND THIS IS WHERE I SAY A HUUUUUGE THANKS TO ALL THE READERS! Really, guys, I am so grateful for the support I got for this story. Those of you who stuck around from start to finish, leaving comments all the way (you know who you are, people, I love each of you to no end!) or just reading it silently. Those of you who found HSL unexpectedly and liked it enough to get through the whole thing. Those of you who are only going to read this some time in the future. Even those who dropped off - I know at least a couple of people who were challenged by the, uhm, content matter and I don't know if they got through their >_> inhibitions >_> to finish. But the idea that I might have made someone reconsider their thoughts about the admittedly (and regretfully) still rather touchy subject makes me really happy.

I would really love to hear all of your thoughts about the story now! For example, if there are things you wish I'd correct/address in the sequel, or the sort of things you want more/less. Things you agreed on and things you didn't. Stuff like that. I am always looking to improve after all :)

Thank you again! Let's meet on the next story, which will be... Flavour of Love actually, if we're speaking about long/chaptered projects. It's about time I got that one wrapped up >_>