[Laruku] [Tetsuhai] Taste of Love

[radhaj]

Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Those people are not mine. I only wish they were
Warnings: All sorts of ickness: slavery, bdsm, bondage, all sorts of kinks, including the fact that Hyde is a minor in this one. Like, really a minor. You have been warned.
Summary: In a country where slavery is the main source of income, Hideto sacrifices his own freedom to protect his sister's. Young and impressionable, he finds himself giving his trust to the kind slave trainer that bought him, but there is no hope anymore for the inexperienced boy to ever experience what love is now that he's no longer in control of his own life... or is there?


Chapter 17

The rest of the dinner, once it actually started properly, passed without any further incidents, although for the first few minutes of it Hyde felt as subdued as he had felt the first evening in the house, despite for the first time knowing perfectly well how to eat all the dishes correctly. The sudden reprimand just reminded him of how alien this whole lifestyle still was to him. And all those fancy dishes that just a few minutes ago he himself had helped make and expensive cutlery that he himself had set on the table suddenly looked incredibly intimidating again.

But as was always the case with him, his hunger soon won out over any other awkwardness that he might have been feeling. Before long, he was so immersed in his food, especially since everyone else acted like nothing happened, that all the heavy feelings disappeared.

He had learned his lesson, however, and wasn't about to forget it any time soon - even once everyone was done eating, he stayed in his seat until he was dismissed. And even then he didn't immediately run to his room - he stayed, instead, to help Tia clean up as was his duty for today. He realized, after all, that as eager as he was to know what his sister had written him, it didn't matter whether he read it now or an hour later - he would only be able to send a response to her tomorrow morning at the earliest, and the letter wasn't going to disappear in the meantime. It was much more important to concentrate on things that he had to take care of at the present so he wouldn't make any rushed mistakes that actually had consequences.

But that realization didn't stop from bounding up the stairs and pretty much running into his room with the half-open letter in hand once the two of them were done in the kitchen and he was free to do so. With the envelope ripped open and discarded, soon Hyde was sitting at his table with his heart hammering wildly in his chest and his eyes skirting across the page as fast as he could with so little practice in it.

My dearest Hideto,

Or should I truly use the name "Hyde" instead as well now? It pains me to even consider it, but I do not wish to put you in any further trouble just because I can't let go of a name.

I must ask you to excuse me, my dear little brother, if this letter turns out too chaotic and makes little sense to you: my mind is such a jumbled mess and my eyes are full of tears even as I write these words, just as they have been ever since I first read your letter. As much as I would love to share your relief over getting chosen by someone as nice as this Tetsuya that you had described to me so positively, I cannot yet get over my grief and confusion over all that happened in general to do so. Please forgive my selfishness in mentioning that - it is you that bears the brunt of the situation, after all, and here I am telling you about my own sadness. But until the very moment I received your letter, I had still hoped that at the end of the third day you would be returned to me and I may be allowed to face the consequences of my actions myself. Or that it would all turn out to have been a bad dream.

But nothing can be changed anymore, I understand that. And although I want to rage and cry about how unfairly everything happened and how much I wish you at least hadn't offered up yourself instead of me, what's done is done and I know it would be useless to waste time on it. Instead, I will try to take control of my emotions as fast as I can so that I may attempt to support you through this as much as I can with at least my letters.

Please do not waste your time worrying about me at least – despite my shock, I managed to go to work already (although I'm afraid I was of little actual help) with the knowledge that life has to go on despite how much it feels like the end of the world to us. The house feels oppressively empty without you here, but Mr. Watanabe, a good friend of our family as he has always been, suggested I live with his family now and share the rent if you don't come back. As loath as I am to leave this house that holds so many memories of our parents (and you as well), I must be realistic: as you now know, we couldn't pay the rent together, so I would be unable to do it alone even more so. I will go live with them and I will be fine, so please concentrate on yourself and spare me little thought.

I wish I could write more and respond fully to the things that you've told me about your new situation, but that will have to wait until the next letter. As I already mentioned, I am far too confused and dazed after everything that happened to manage a proper reply. I am really happy you were allowed to write me, at least, and in general have been taken in by such a kind-sounding person.

I will write to you again as soon as I can string myself together and make some sense of all that has changed, I promise you.

Please, write as often as you can yourself to inform me of your well-being.

With all my love,

Your worried sister, Gina

It was only when Hyde had already wiped away a tear from his cheek that he realized that he had teared up at some point while reading the letter. It felt surreal yet wonderful to hear from his sister again, even if he could literally feel the worry and grief being emanated from every word his she wrote. But the tears in his own eyes were from relief.

Although he hadn't allowed himself to really think it, Hyde had been worried when Tetsuya told him he had been unable to pass the letter to Gina in person. Yes, he logically knew she had to have gone to work, but who was to say she hadn't been gone because the men she borrowed the money from had come back and taken her away to sell as well? She had been left alone, and they seemed to have no morals. They might have thought she was easy prey for some extra money.

But she was okay, and there were, apparently, still people that cared about her close-by. Hyde closed his eyes, pressing the sheet of paper to his chest, and sent a silent heart-felt thanks to Mr. Watanabe. The elderly neighbour always had had a soft spot for them two kids trying to make it alone after their parents died. He would not let anything happen to Gina.

Of course, he was saddened that their little shack was going to be passed on to someone else, but Hyde had known he would never be able to see it again in any case. And his sister's safety was more precious than anything a mere house could hold anyway. The memories of his parents and the times when they had all been a happy family were all stored in their hearts, not in some material rooms and walls.

"Must be the first time that I witnessed someone crying with such a peaceful expression on their face," suddenly a by now very familiar voice jerked Hyde out of his thoughts and the boy turned on his chair in a rush to look at his owner who was now leaning casually against the side of Hyde's open (as always) doorway with his arms crossed. The slave wondered for a second just how long the older man had stood there, just looking at him silently, but soon brushed the thought away. What did it matter? This didn't even feel like invasion of privacy to him anymore, not after everything else. It was almost scary how quickly he was getting used to this part of it, really.

"Do you wish to read it, Sir?" he asked, already offering the letter to his owner as he remembered the man explaining he had wanted to read it last time because it allowed him to get to know Hyde better. The action came to him quite naturally even, he realized. He didn't mind Tetsuya reading his correspondence. It was as if he had let out all of his bad feelings about it yesterday in Tetsuya's room and then accepted it. Not only accepted - understood. Tetsuya trying to know him better was a favour to him, not the other way around. The older man didn't need to put such an effort into this - he could just plough through Hyde by force if he had to until the slave was the perfect example of usefulness and obedience that he was supposed to be. But he didn't. He chose to do it in the most considerate way possible.

And then Tetsuya also seemed to look a little surprised when Hyde voluntarily offered him the letter. Like he was almost... touched by how easily Hyde gave him this trust. But in a second his expression morphed back into a soft smile and he waved the offer off.

"Maybe later," he said and stepped further into the room, dropping his hands to his sides, "As long as everything's okay and there isn't anything I should know about in it?" he inquired then, raising an eyebrow and causing Hyde to think back to what he had just read.

"No, I don't think so, Sir. She seems to be coping well... or, I suppose, as well as she can," he glanced back at the letter uncomfortably, "She asks about my name though," he muttered then, "I think it really hurts her to not be allowed to call me like she's used to, as the brother she always knew, but she doesn't want to cause me trouble..."

"I would not punish you for things she chooses to do," Tetsuya dismissed that fear quickly, "I bought you, but she is as free as she has always been. I do not have any more control over her than over any other random person. Remember what I told you about that name though. It is for your own sake that you get used to it, and it would be harder for you to do if even one person still calls you by your old one. Not to mention that it all works the same for her as well. Letting go your name might make it easier to accept the situation in general."

Hyde mulled over the words silently, considering them. He was, actually, pretty much used to the name already. Tetsuya's advice had been right about the effect accepting the name had on him, and by now Hyde was glad he had taken it. So he could only assume that the older man was right about how it would work for Gina as well.

"I'll tell her to use "Hyde" then," he made his decision out loud, nodding his head and putting the paper away onto the table.

"Good," was the only other comment his owner offered on the subject and then stepped even closer to Hyde, raising his hand suddenly and threading his fingers caressingly through the youth's hair. The boy's breath hitched for a second at the unexpected touch - he was still only getting used to physical contact in general, after all, and this seemed so... intimate. But he forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down, remembering what Tetsuya had done to him yesterday and how that didn't feel bad at all and this was really so innocent in comparison...

“We didn't really speak during dinner this time, I was too busy discussing things with Yukki,” Tetsuya mused out loud in the meantime, “How was your day? I see you at least got your clothes... Was working with Tia any fun? Do you have any questions about anything?”

Hyde blinked, again, surprised at just how much and how sincerely the slave trainer seemed to care. Of course it was his job, but he always sounded like he genuinely wanted Hyde to feel comfortable, not simply for the slave to ask anything that he didn't understand about his tasks so he could train him and make him learn things faster.

“It was...” Hyde wavered. It hadn't been not fun, and yet that wasn't really the word he would choose for it, “...interesting,” he settled on finally, “A lot of new information to remember. I'm a little afraid I might forget everything again by tomorrow,” he confessed, shuffling his feet under the table nervously as he didn't want Tetsuya to get mad at him for not being confident enough. But again, the older man reacted all but negatively.

“I'm sure it's not going to be that bad,” he chuckled a little, settling more comfortably by half-sitting on Hyde's desk, “But that is why you will have a whole week of this to get it down properly before you get some other tasks added to your schedule. But everything was clear to you in general?” he asked again, and Hyde nodded.

“Yes, Tia explains everything very... thoroughly,” he said, trying to not outright say how unusually chatty he found the girl, “We talked a lot and she told me a bit about herself too,” he said, and then suddenly remembered the one thing that he had planned on asking his owner about, “And about May too...” he trailed off, suddenly unsure about how to get to what he wanted to know about.

“I told her not to overwhelm you with too much so far unnecessary information. But since she's a born slave, she has problems distinguishing between things that are a given to her but not to someone who was born free,” Tetsuya picked up the conversation from him then when the silence started to stretch, “From how you sound, she definitely ended up saying something that raised some questions in your head?” he pried carefully and Hyde nodded, thankful that Tetsuya understood so well without need for much explanation. So he simply went on to tell Tetsuya the things that Tia had spoken about that day.

“Aren't we supposed to be devoted to our current owners completely?” he finished talking with the question that bothered him, “So how can we say we are devoted completely if we are later supposed to also be alright with getting passed to someone else? “

He glanced up at Tetsuya fully then, waiting for an explanation, but the older man seemed weirdly distracted for a second.

“That silly girl, she really shouldn't worry. I must tell Yukki to talk to her later,” he mumbled, seemingly more thinking out loud than talking to Hyde. But then he shook his head, as if trying to clear it, and smiled down at the boy comfortingly.

“I know that seems pretty difficult to grasp and very contradictory to you at the moment, but I can promise you that with time you will understand it quite naturally. For now, I think the way you should look at it is... You are supposed to be devoted to your Master, yes. But the most important or, in fact, the only way you are allowed to show that devotion is by following your Master's every wish. In a way you are devoted to those desires more than to the person. So if one of those wishes is for you to be sold to another, then making that come true is what should make you happy. At least up until the point where you belong to someone else, and then it's the new Master's wishes that take over. Do you understand?”

Hyde thought about that, frowning. Yes, it made sense, of course. In theory. But it still didn't explain how he was supposed to be able to just easily switch from one person to another, as if someone pressed some button that reassigned his focus. So he asked about it out loud. Tetsuya sighed and spoke up again, slowly this time, weighing every word.

“I never said it is an easy switch,” he said, sounding genuinely perturbed for a second, “You will get attached to your owners, and it will hurt a lot when they no longer want you. It will be hard to cope with, no matter how many times it happens. But that is the way it works and from the point of view I just explained there is at least no conflicting emotions. Until the very end, you are doing the same thing. There is never a question of what you're supposed to do. You can even say that being sold is your final act of pleasing your Master.”

Hyde still must have looked really unconvinced and not comforted because Tetsuya took a deep breath again and smiled at him soothingly, continuing to speak in the same manner.

“By the time you are through with the training, it will not sound as bad, believe me. You will be prepared mentally much better and you will be... conditioned to care about your owner's desires above all. It will numb everything else, in a way. A few weeks from now, I will already tell you to start thinking about every action you take in relation to what I, as your current owner, want. To think before each, even the most menial of tasks, just how exactly what you're doing is pleasing your Master. And in time you will be eating because your Master wants you to have a healthy, nourished body and take a shower because that will make you more pleasant for the one that owns you. It is a lot to take in now, but in the long run, that is what will make things easier for you to live with.”

Hyde considered that again and, although rather severe and hard to take-in, this explanation actually made him feel better. The slave training was, after all, supposed to change the way he thought from the very basics.

“Don't dwell on this for now, Hyde,” the older man spoke up again, extending his hand to brush it over the slave's hair again, the action made to be comforting, “It will bring you no good and you'll just lose sleep over it for no reason. Just know that I haven't been a slave trainer for this long without thinking these things through and knowing how to deal with them. Let's get away from this subject already, let me distract you. I was planning to continue with our... lesson from yesterday after we're done talking about your day. So if there was nothing more you wanted to ask?..” Tetsuya said then, choosing his words carefully, but they ended up sounding more suggestive than they should have to Hyde's ears anyway. The boy blushed slightly, but leaned into the hand that continued petting his hair regardless.

"Of course, Tetsuya-san," he mumbled shyly at the floor.

"You are still reading the book about etiquette, right?" was the man's next question and Hyde answered affirmatively again, not quite knowing what that had to do with anything, "Good. It's still early after all, so it wouldn't be that clever to already start something that would just lead to sleeping like yesterday. Get the book, some paper and your pen and come to me," Tetsuya commanded, without offering much of an explanation. But his intentions became clear to Hyde once, after gathering the mentioned things, he saw that coming to Tetsuya meant getting onto the bed the slave trainer was already lounging upon, waiting for him.

Timidly, Hyde lifted himself onto the bed and settled down next to Tetsuya, his back resting against the headboard once the older man indicated him to sit that way. As soon as he was there, Tetsuya drew him in even closer to himself, however, by wounding an arm around him which Hyde consciously made himself relax against. And then they started reading together.

Tetsuya would explain the dryly-written passages more in-depth, quiz him on previous chapters and just make sure he understood everything correctly and remembered the most important things. Sometimes, he would share short anecdotes from his life that he had witnessed when people mixed up the rules they were reading about, or make Hyde note something down so that the boy would also get some writing practice.

But all of that was occurring with the slave trainer's hand staying firmly around the young slave and as much as Hyde tried, he couldn't stop being acutely aware of it. He didn't tense up any more, fortunately, so that was a step in the right direction. But he just couldn't completely relax either. And now he started really understanding what his trainers meant when they kept saying that he had really big issues with being touched and that they were a problem: this was not even a big or an invasive touch. Hyde couldn't even understand himself why he couldn't stop reacting to it. But he just couldn't. And all the other small, brief touches that Tetsuya gave him every once in a while during their lesson didn't make it better either.

At least he was actually learning at the same time, even with the distractions.

And Hyde found he actually liked learning, especially since Tetsuya was quite generous with praise even for the smallest of successes on his part. But that, unfortunately, meant that the time passed quite quickly for the young slave and before he knew it, a couple of hours were already gone and Tetsuya was stopping him from turning another page. By putting his hand on his and thus touching him more again. Hyde shivered.

"Sir?" the boy asked with strange trepidation in his voice when that same hand went on to gently uncurl his fingers from the book and take it away, putting it back onto the night-stand.

"I think it is now late enough for those activities that might lead to sleeping," the slaver explained smoothly, already stroking his hand down Hyde's leg.

Well of course, it was not like Hyde hadn't expected that at some point this evening they would get to more... night training related activities. More of trying to get him used to being touched. So although a part of him just wanted to bolt and try to escape, just like it had wanted yesterday, he also just like yesterday realized both how futile that would turn out to be and how much he'd “hurt” noone else but himself by doing that. So he just gave in. Trusted Tetsuya once more.

"Should I... should I take off my clothes?" he asked, thinking back to yesterday and assuming that today would probably pass in a similar manner.

"No, it's okay," Tetsuya muttered silkily, almost as if he was actually trying to seduce Hyde tonight, "Today I'll take off anything I want removed myself."

Well of course Tetsuya seemed like he was trying to seduce him, Hyde thought to himself even while he trembled after hearing what the man said and allowed himself to be gently manoeuvred to lie completely on the bed. This was what the whole training was about, right? Hyde being... seduced. Hyde discovering bodily pleasure and becoming... used for it, in time.

But no matter how much he tried, his mind just wouldn't shut off. He was now lying flat on the bed again, with his owner half beside him, half over him, sliding his talented hands up his bare arms until they reached the sleeves of his t-shirt, and he knew the caress-like touches should feel pleasurable. But he could only concentrate on keeping his breathing even. He tried to remember how he had managed to relax yesterday, but it just wasn't coming to him.

"Doesn't it feel good?" Tetsuya's voice suddenly pierced through his almost panicking thoughts, none of his inner struggle apparently escaping the slave trainer's perceptive eyes. At least hearing that voice alone already helped the boy calm down from the panicky feelings that he had thought himself into.

"I-I don't know..." Hyde whispered out, a bit shamefully, because he was feeling disappointed at himself for failing to accept something he knew he should. Even yesterday things had gone better. He realized he should tell the truth however, and so he spoke openly, "I want to enjoy it, I know I should, but..."

He trailed off, because he couldn't explain it. If he could, if he knew the exact problem, maybe he would be able to solve it, after all.

"Hmm..." Tetsuya trailed off thoughtfully, momentarily stopping his ministrations and looking Hyde straight in the eyes, "How about this then?" the older man asked, his voice dropping to a deep, sensual mutter as he slowly leaned down lower and lower towards the slave's face, until he could press his lips firmly against Hyde's.

That made everything immediately different. Just like the previous kisses with his owner or the one he had shared with Yukihiro, it managed to take him by surprise. He should have seen it coming, but the moment he felt Tetsuya's incredibly soft lips pressing against his, it was as if his body was jolted with unexpected pleasure. It was... very distracting. Although it probably still counted as a touch, just with lips instead of hands and fingers, unlike Tetsuya's earlier explorations of his body this didn't make his defensive instincts flare up, didn't make him want to shy away and regain his personal space. Quite the opposite - it crawled right past all that and made his heart flutter and his eyes blink shut in surrender.

Only, he realized as if through a wall of mist, Tetsuya was still also touching him at the same time. While he varied the pressure on his mouth and sneakily managed to pry his lips open without Hyde even realizing it, his hands resumed their wandering over the slave's suddenly completely-pliant body. The older man deepened the kiss, slipping his warm tongue into Hyde's accepting mouth, drawing a gasp and completely distracting him from the fact that his fingers were ghosting over the inch-wide sliver of skin that got exposed because Hyde's shirt rode up his torso. He stroked his tongue alongside Hyde's, sucking the breath seemingly directly from the younger man's lungs and managed to keep him from tensing up while his hands rubbed over his stomach in a circular motion, steadily getting higher and higher under his shirt.

"I think," Tetsuya breathed out when they separated briefly for air, "I found a way to make you get used to this... We're finally making progress."

Hyde heard him speak, saw his lips moving to form words, felt his breath ghost over his face as he spoke and even made a tiny noise of eager agreement. But in reality, his mind could not decipher the meaning of those words, nor did he even want it to. The only thing that mattered to him right then was the fact that his Master was soon kissing him again, exploring his mouth with his sinfully limber tongue and giving him pleasure - yes, pleasure - like nothing he had experienced.

This was nothing like the few previous kisses. They didn't stop at one or even two. They weren't stolen on a park bench or rushed before breakfast. They weren't just teasing, or just experimenting. Tetsuya was kissing him with true passion and was expecting the same in return. And he got it, because Hyde's body automatically responded to it despite actually never having done it before. It was a full-out make-out session and as inadequately prepared as Hyde might have been for this, he was proving to be a very fast learner.

It wasn't chaotic or wild, however. Their lips didn't slam back together whenever they got separated, instead they rather sought the other's deliberately, purposefully. Needfully but languidly, without urgency. Hyde surrendered access inside willingly, but the slave trainer made use of it slowly, taking care to slide his tongue over every crevice available to him.

And it continued to work in distracting Hyde. It was not like he ceased to be aware of the touches. But somehow, being kissed at the same time finally brought out the pleasure in the caresses too. He didn't know how long they were doing this for already, maybe it was a full hour already. But it didn't even seem like that long when Hyde was startled by the small moan that escaped his mouth into his owner's when those long fingers rubbed over his nipples. And even when Tetsuya's lips left his and moved to ghost over his jaw and later neck, the hypnotizing effect didn't disappear. His mind was still in a pleasant haze where he didn't mind being touched at all and even, slowly but surely, was starting to find true enjoyment in it.

"Lift your arms now, Hyde," Tetsuya ordered sultrily, still half-sucking on Hyde's earlobe as he talked. The boy didn't even think to question the order - he just did as told and only made a small noise of protest when his owner took off his shirt because it made them pause the make-out session, not because he actually minded getting unclothed.

"Progress indeed," came another whisper and Hyde managed to catch a glimpse of his owner smirking at him for a second before Tetsuya lowered his face out of his field of vision. The boy didn't even have time to feel disappointed about the fact that Tetsuya didn't come back up to him though, because soon he felt those same soft, wet lips painting a path over the warm skin of his taut stomach and that quick, agile tongue licking over his protruding hipbones that were just barely poking out from under the waistband of his pants.

This was... this was different. Again, it was new. Hyde gasped and thrashed a little against all those unfamiliar but intense sensations until he ended up with his head thrown to the side, his face pushed into the covers of the bed as much as possible and biting on his lower lip. This was already so much more than yesterday. He might be less naked, as Tetsuya was making no move to remove his pants, but he felt so much more exposed. Yesterday had been out of his comfort zone because there had been just so much touching, but those touches had still been aimed at relaxing him. Today was the very opposite. He was breathless, his heart was hammering against his ribcage, and whereas yesterday the strange stirring between his legs had been so slight he might as well had imagined it, today he couldn't ignore it nearly as easily. Even his inexperienced, pure young mind was able to supply him the understanding of what that meant. He was getting aroused. Truly, physically aroused. For the first time in his life.

His owner seemed to realize, however, that Hyde was getting a little too overwhelmed with all the new experiences and thus he didn't surprise Hyde with anything else anymore. He just continued giving him more of the same, covertly glancing at him every once in a while to check if he was okay. There was no question about whether he noticed Hyde's condition – the man was far too observant to miss something as obvious as that but, fortunately, he didn't make Hyde any more embarrassed by pointing it out.

"This isn't that bad, is it?" he asked softly at some point, scuttling upwards and making Hyde un-bury his face from the covers, "So bad that you can't even look at me?" he joked teasingly and managed to get an shy smile from the boy.

"It feels... really good actually," Hyde forced himself to admit and almost tried to hide his blushing face again but Tetsuya's hand, still on his cheek, stopped him.

"Good then," the slave trainer commented, leaning in for a quick peck on Hyde's lips, "I think, however, we've made enough progress for today. I don't want to get to the point where," his eyes barely noticeably flickered downwards, "It gets really... hard for you to obey your rules after all."

It took a few seconds for Hyde's jumbled mind to get what his owner meant with that, and when he did, he flushed to the very tips of his ears. So much for Tetsuya not embarrassing him by mentioning his condition. Hyde should have known better. But as embarrassed as he felt, he couldn't feel angry about it. Tetsuya was just making sure he knew it was not a big deal. Because this was what they were, eventually, aiming for these sessions to lead to.

"I... I wouldn't do something like that," he defended himself, averting his eyes. He wouldn't even know how to start something like that, if he was honest with himself.

"I'm sure. You have shown to be very determined to not disobey after all," Tetsuya praised him then and leaned in to give him one last kiss, sucking on his plump lips before letting them go.

"I'm glad I discovered how to get you more receptive of touches. That will make evenings much more productive," he continued, finally getting up and straightening his clothes out once he was standing.

"Does that mean.. we'll be doing this every night now?" Hyde asked.

"That is the plan, more or less. At least until we have progressed beyond the first stage of training with you," Tetsuya confirmed, "Tomorrow you'll get to try touching me back," he revealed teasingly, giving Hyde a wink, "Goodnight now, Hyde."